"Indescribable"

Rickshaw tours

2012-02-10T05:24:00.000-05:00

Rickshaw workers waiting for business

Happily getting their exercise

remember your license number to get to your driver

our driver waiting for us to return from sighseeing

watching the locals play on the ice

Winter sports

Rickshaw waiting for us - drivers congregating on the other side of the street, drinking from their thermos, smoking cigarettes

2012-02-09T18:39:00.000-05:00

Friendly advice from friends

Stay up as late as you can on the first day so that you’re not up at 3:00am

Bring snacks so that when you’re up at 3:00am you have something to eat, you’ll be starving

Eat at the breakfast buffet later in the day to save money on lunch,

your diet looks like

Snacks for breakfast,

Big Buffet for early lunch

Out to eat for supper – or noodles in the room or dinner tour

All helpful friendly advice – we can hear the advice, but can we follow it?

We went to bed between 9 and 10. We were up an hour later, but back to sleep until 2:30. Up, showered, organized, blogged, coffee in the room and then first in line for breakfast buffet! Time to experience some new flavors and textures!

2012-02-09T16:57:00.000-05:00

There certainly are a lot of preparations that go into planning a regular trip away from home, so an overseas trip has exponentially more preparation – and then throw in an adoption and BAM! My mind is spinning and I’m wondering if I even packed my.... Oh never mind, if I didn’t pack it I don’t need it, right?

Our travels were long; I’m confused with what day this is. My children at home are in school, and I think it’s Thursday, but here, in Beijing it’s 3:30 in the morning on Friday – I know I’ve been calculating the time change for a year now, but living it is hard!

4:30 AM

Our Morning Driver - Adoptive mom who took us under her wing during our process!

Our Traveling Companions - Experienced Chinese Adoptive Parents

We’re traveling with friends from church. They’ve adopted from China and have first hand experience to share with us. They’re using a different agency and traveling to a different province but by God’s grace we were able to get our Consulate apt 1 day apart and were put in the same hotel in Beijing. That has been very comforting.

The flight was LONG – too long, my poor restless legs couldn’t get comfortable at around hour 9. I did a great deal of standing after that point. I watched too much TV/Movies, the kinds I don’t usually watch at home to try and pass the time. We were fed 3 meals on the 14-hour flight… and at first I thought that was overboard, but we skipped a day and wouldn’t want miss out on nutritional needs….

First meal- noon time(ish) beef strips and rice (or chicken) that was nicely seasoned and the roll, yummy – I slathered mine with butter – don’t know when I’ll enjoy that again.

2^nd meal: chicken enchilada, with a nice spicy sauce that isn’t flight friendly – it squirted when opened…

But the dessert that went with it more than made up for it. Haagen-Dazs all natural vanilla ice cream, first ingredient cream! That was good!

North Pole memento

Traveling from the terminal to baggage claim

3^rd meal; one hour before we landed, eggs or noodles with dumplings. I opted for the noodles, hubby had his 3^rd egg meal in the span of travel – which I can’t calculate b/c my math side of my brain hasn’t caught up to me – jet lag!

– after we went through the line labeled “foreigners”

more to come later today.

We’re here. We’re safe. It’s 4 in the morning and we’ve been up since 2:30 – let the adventures in Beijing….

2012-02-07T21:25:00.000-05:00

Everything is done.
Well, except for the morning shower and throwing the last items into our luggage.
The little one is sleeping - that was hard- she mentioned it a lot today, that she's going to miss us
While we're gone
For three weeks.
She totally gets it.

Two days ago when my parents drove in from down south her eyes were filled with excitement and anticipation! she was jumping on her knees on the couch with her grin from ear to ear -TWO MORE DAYS!!! THEN IT'S PARTY TIME! To be honest I was a little hurt and got an overwhelming feeling of her not really being attached but using me for my caregiving skills and mama bear qualities. Then today happened, and I felt her closeness. She mentioned to me several times that shes going to miss me. I took the opportunity to tell her the story of preparing for travel to Ethiopia. I reminded her of what she was like when she wouldn't eat any foods we prepared unless it was coated with sugar or syrup. I reminded her of the conversation she had with the beautiful sales women at the airport kiosk who sold us the Washington DC sweatshirts. Honey asked if she could show her the matching pants - of course I didn't understand any of this b/c Honey happened to find an Amharic speaking sales clerk! And then we laughed about her running off in the airport and me running after her- me white and frantic, her- small, brown and fast!

Jack was in a remedial reading program since the beginning of the school year. In 3 years he went from first grade level to 3rd grade level to 5th grade level - five yrs of growth in 3 yrs. he has no idea how proud we are of him. He's still lower than some of his peers, but not as low as some of the children who were born in this town and who've been speaking English all of their lives, not just for the past 3 yrs. Yesterday his teacher called and indicated that he will have better role models and maybe better motivation if he goes into the regular grade level class. He was happy and more than willing. The change happened today and boy did he get wollopped with a whole lot of homework. It's an hour past his usual bed time and he still has 25 vocab words to put into sentences, (after doing 2 essays but not before doing his math) yikes!

So as we are prepared for what is before us we're having fun with facebook statuses, watching in admiration as the grandparents take over the caregiving and getting our hearts ready for another member in our family. It isn't always easy here, it's challenging, sad, frustrating, and sometimes even loud. But when it's loud you have to be listening closely, it could be loud laughing, singing, or maybe even funny reminiscing! Because in this house we live out loud!

Bed time was harder than I thought it was going to be. We are on a mission and not going on vacation (couldn't do that without the kids).

My prayer is for the people staying home, that they are flexible and busy. That they find joy in preparing their hearts and minds for their little brother and grandson (because we know they didn't have to do an ounce of paperwork to bring our boy home, mommy and daddy did that!)

My prayer for those traveling, safety, health and peace along with flexibility! We've been on enough mission trips to know the first ingredient is God, the second is flexibility.

And for the people we meet along the way, prayers for Jesus to be seen in our action, and words. I pray that our new friends, guides, total strangers and importantly, our little boy feels the peace and love that surpasses all understanding.

Peace out, early revelie, Bigfoot is coming at 4:30am.... As in the middle of the night!!!!

2012-02-06T22:04:00.000-05:00

*** Projected Plan ***

This plan reflects the general daily schedule for the group, based on the group’s arrival and departure dates..

2/8 Leave U.S. for Beijing.

2/9 Arrive in Beijing

2/10 Tour Beijing. Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, Hutong Tour, and optional acrobatics show (not planning on doing the acrobatic show....

2/11 Tour Beijing. Great Wall

2/12 Depart Beijing for Nanjing

2/13 Go to the Registration Office to receive our child. (3 yrs ago our Gotcha day was February 16!)

2/14 Go to the Registration Office for Adoption Registration and Notarization at 9:00am.

2/15- Optional half day city tour.

2/16 Waiting for adoption paperwork to be processed. - just keep waiting, just keep waiting, just keep waiting

2/17 Leave Nanjing for Guangzhou

2/18 Shamian Island to complete your child’s visa physical and visa photo

2/19 Free day in Guangzhou

2/20 Tuberculosis test checked at the clinic

2/21 prepare paperwork for the Consulate appointment

2/22 Free day in Guangzhou

2/23 Consulate appointment.

2/24 Prepare to leave for home.

2/25 Leave Guangzhou for Beijing

WELCOME HOME!

Weather:

Go to: http://weather.china.org.cn/english

The grandparents have arrived and want to know why we haven't left yet.... they're counting down the time before they can let loose and have a boat load of fun!!!! Go for it! I say. All the more power to you! Just clean up after yourselves and don't get hurt.... I'm leaving the insurance cards in case you do.

We are traveling with some friends. They're with a different agency and going to a different Provence, but we're leaving on the same flight together, we'll be in Beijing together and then meet up in Guangzhou together. We're not at the same hotel in Guangzhou but we're hoping to catch up and introduce the kiddos to each other so that they have a familiar face once we are home. Not sure if they'll remember so we're going to take lots of pictures of them together in China so they have a point of reference!

We're so thankful to be able to travel with familiar people! When we traveled to Ethiopia three years ago it didn't take long to bond to the families in our travel group. There is something that happens during this transition time. It really is a survival mode transition and families just want to get home and start the home transition. I am one of those people! I'm tired of thinking about the whole preparation. Hubby on the other hand finds the excitement in the travel preparations! He's a planner and traveler, he's such an adventurer! In fact I tried to talk him into doing the traveling for me and I would be home and rested for their arrival, ready to take care of their every need. The point that changed my mind was when I realized that he's not a souvenir shopper.... That was what encouraged me to embrace the travel. Well, that and this..........

yes, his pants are on backwards, that's hopeful of him dressing himself!

2012-01-31T21:19:00.000-05:00

The story behind our TA.....
Once upon a time, long, long ago a ~~young~~ couple decided that their family had grown up waaaaay to fast... in fact the kids grew up and became older than the parents, I'm sure that's how the story goes. Bricks began to fall from the sky, planks flew across the plains.... they were struck by how ~~loud~~ soft God spoke to them. both. at. the. same. time. through the mouth of a youngish pastor.... (hee hee -fine, he's young, real young, but he has like, um, 5 kids! so how young can he be?)
This ~~crazy~~ loving couple pursued the adoption of a couple of cuties without any hitches, hangups, problems. ~~cough~~ and in record time, because they were so blessed, they brought home these 2 cuties in less than 8 months.

life is good
smooth
easy
ok, we got a new normal on!

time passed by......
the papa retired and the mama gave up worrying about getting it all done when the papa thought it was time to adopt again.... at this point the mama went berserk, and put her foot down.
THIS LESSON: When you think God says "no" he could be saying "not now", when mama says "no" she's probably definitely saying, "in a minute"

fast forward another year....
Mama's heart softens b/c the new normal is really rather easy.... for some reason. Maybe being a faithful servant is the best thing ever!

Mama and Papa pursue their next adoption and again, in record time paperwork was collected, counted, copied, stamped, submitted and filed.

On Friday, Jan 20, the last workday before Chinese New Year, at approximately 7:55 the parents walked upstairs to tuck the kids into bed, say their prayers and climb down the creaky stairs again to settle into the evening routine of surfing and quieting down for the evening. .... "I guess we're not hearing from the agency until after Chinese New Year." came from papa's mouth - "Oh, yea, well, I had a glimmer of hope that we would hear before offices closed for the week." came from mama's pity-partying mouth.
sit down
turn on device
jaw drops
email arrived.... 7:55 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT before Chinese New Year closed down all offices in China FOR A WEEK!

immediately contacted my in-country (in this country, not China) specialist.... an adoptive mom who has her thumb on the pulse of paperwork expected time lines. I text her something like; "Are you busy? I got this weird email" and proceeded to tell her, then forwarding her the email. Apparently our Agency people got word that our TA was on it's way and they needed to know if we were able to fly within a week of finding out our consulate apt. OF COURSE WE CAN FLY - and probably with our own arms at this point..... we would just have to wait until offices opened up in 10 days to learn our next steps.

We had to wait the weekend until we got notice that our TA was officially in hand (whose hand I don't know) And since offices were closed we would have to wait until this past Monday, January 30th to get possible further information -
meanwhile.... there are some friends of ours (a youngish pastor and his lovely wife with 5 kids, one of those kiddos is waiting for them .... IN CHINA!) They didn't receive the weird Friday-before-offices-closed-email - but did receive the Monday morning, all Chinese offices are closed, you got your TA email.
We hadn't gotten ours yet.....
until a little later in the day.....
but no one would know travel dates for a week when the offices opened up again.
It was going to be THE LONGEST WEEK EVER!!!

well, that's not true, and ya know why? BECAUSE since getting our Monday, January 30th email containing our consulate apt and knowing that we're flying to China in a week has now made this week THE LONGEST WEEK EVER!!!!

I don't want to wish my life away - I learned that lesson a long time ago, like when my kids became older than me b/c I wished them older and more independent (that's a tricky one, we want them independent, but not totally 'no I don't need you' independent!)

So when someone asked me this past weekend if we got our TA, my response was, "I think so......"
yea, I can be that bad with information. Good thing the papa is handling all the travel stuffs..... just tell me where to be and what time....
what? plane leaves at 6:17 IN THE MORNING? oh boy, that's early!

2012-01-29T21:13:00.002-05:00

It started 9 months ago - word of a drought in The Horn of Africa devastating the food source, directly impacting life....

We gave money and checked it off our list...

Then we did a Radical study with a small group and on the first night we prayed for relief (that was 6 months ago)

The study ended - we were all effected by what it means to live counter to the american dream - what it really means to live out loud for Jesus.

We talked

and talked and talked and prayed and prayed and prayed to hear God's wish for us.

Do you want to know what we heard?

God told us to love one another

He told us to be like Jesus and feed the poor

be a father to the fatherless

support the widow in her time of need

love one another

always.

We don't know what to do so we're paralyzed...

(we - meaning me.)

I have a good job ~~that is sucking the life out of me~~

that supports our family, provides medical benefits,

and has a healthy amount of time off for family!

We (meaning the hubs and I and friends who'll have this conversation) dream about moving some place to serve in far off places to people who don't know the luxuries of running water, free education, shoes.

In the meantime - while trying to 'figure it all out' our friends Heather and Kevin planned an event for our church to host. (We do an 'On the Move' event during the 5th Sunday of the month. There are 4 a year - no formal service (hard for some to embrace) and no 'church clothes' just comfy work clothes - and requires an open heart to LOVE ALL and serve! We've done car washes, nursing home visits, created valentines for single moms, cleaned yards, worked on cleaning roads, provided a carnival for another church to bring in the area neighborhood kids....)

Today we packed food

25cents

feeds 1 person

1 meal

we packed food!

enough to feed 252,000 people!

Heather spear-headed our community connection with

feedingchildreneverywhere and they heard

and came

part of the delivery

then the people came

they signed in,

they cleaned their hands and received their hair nets

there were hourly shifts so that people could make a small commitment of time and not go to far out of their comfort zone...... (some had to be told to share their spots, others wanted to volunteer!)There were hourly notices on how we were doing; 40,000 meals were packed in the first hour!

we poured the ingredients in the proper order

Himalayan salt

veggies with minerals added

Lentils for protein

Rice

measured it out and added or subtracted if needed

These two ladies have been friends FOR-EVER! (at least 50 years)

friends from school came to help

Major family EVENT!

Children of all ages helped

at all of the jobs

even if they're perfectionists

they were working to serve others

and to feed people in Kenya

Three Generations!

we started brainstorming what we could use the empty rice bags for.... tents? roof coverings? Seriously though in a third world country these bags would not have been thrown in the dumpster, they would have been valuable for protection

boxes were being decorated and loved on

people had a chance to try out many jobs during the day

there was work for everyone to do

another perfectionist taking his work seriously

so many smiles

so many helpers, so many jobs

Listening to Kile from Feeding Children Everywhere explaining what our day means to others

Hula for Happiness stopped by and spread Joy!

UCONN and UNIV of HARTFORD students helped all day!
We were able to sample the food that we were packing and sending - it was yummy.

many muscles were used

We finished filling enough packets to feed 252,000 people - and we were filled
filled with the warmth and love that comes when we come together to serve as God tells us we ought to
serve the widow in her time of need
serve the poor when they are hungry

we went out to eat afterwards and Jack pulled out his hairnet

As soon has Jack pulled his hairnet out the others grabbed theirs! They were excited to have the memento in their pocket reminding them of their day of serving!

2011-12-28T21:19:00.000-05:00

A year in review -
While I'm sorting through pictures and getting ready for our annual report to go over to Ethiopia, I know that next years reports will be a little different. For one thing, there will be at least one other person in the pictures, and for another reason, I'll be thinking about his annual report and our obligation to the international country - if 3 families, total, miss their reports in a lifetime, it's been threatened that the whole country will / could / might close down to any and all future international adoptions..... I don't want to mess anything up like that..... I'll over cook a meatloaf, but miss an annual report - one that has to be in country 6 weeks early - no way! Not me! Please.....

Enjoy a few of my favorites

Such a big heart! Loves to be helpful, needed and wanted! And HE IS!

He can be quietly reading

and he can be strong, fast, nimble, focused!

Ethiopia made them sisters (at heart)

Learning how to fish on a First Sunday at dear friends!

SWEET friends! Celebrating another sweeties Adoption Day!

Don't look her in the eye.... she'll capture you and put you under her spell.... ooops - too late.
Tried to warn you.

Aunt Honey with her nephew - who is 5 years older than her....

Merry Christmas - and Happy NEW YEAR!!! from our family (at least some of them pictured) to yours!

The Truth Continued

2011-12-25T13:21:00.001-05:00

After our conversation, our truthful conversation, about Santa, Honey went to school. I was worried about her debating the topic at school. I didn't want her to make other children sad b/c she is strong minded and would want to help them see the truth with her. She will convince me to give her a second cup of hot chocolate b/c it's cold. She can get another story out of me when it's 20 min past bed time. She can get me to put her violin music away for her - she easily convinces me to do things I promise myself that I won't do. ~~I'm so easy.~~ She's super convincing!

On our way home from school on Friday afternoon the following conversation occurred....

Her: Mom, How do you know that there's no such thing as Santa?

Me: Did you talk about this with your friends at school today? (notice I didn't answer the question)

Her: Yes, and they all said that there is a Santa.

Me: Oh

---SILENCE---

Her: So Mom, do you KNOW that there's no Santa or do you THINK there's no Santa?

---SILENCE---

Me: Did other kids wear their pajamas today for the Polar Express?

Her: Yea, and we had popcorn, it was fun!

I guess I have another year of Santa in our lives, and by this time next year little Stephen will be home for about 10.5 months..... for all this to repeat itself.... As I promised, here's Honey's 29 seconds in the spotlight. (It was 59 seconds during practice....)

I'm having a difficult time processing this video - I hope to fix that problem.... but probably not tonight....

MERRY CHRISTMAS! MAY THE JOY OF THE SEASON BE YOURS!

The truth

2011-12-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

It was in all honesty very innocent, she looked me right in the eye and point blank asked the questions that many parents regret and others take pride in having creative responses. I wasn't ready.

"Is Santa real?"

It was during supper so I bought a few seconds with some embellished chewing while I thought, if I lie - it makes me dishonest, but she can experience the magical time of Christmas. If I tell the truth then no one can accuse me of lying.

The room stood still,

The quiet was deafening.

We never really told them that Santa flew around the world delivering presents to all the good girls and boys. That would have them believing that before they came to America they weren't worthy of presents.

In Ethiopia Christmas is a holy day. A day to dress in your (or your neighbor's) finest clothes and spend the day in church. There is a dinner; family and neighbors share a goat if they can afford it or chicken. If there are any presents it's a gift of clothes - for church, usually traditional white.

So what was my response? I shook my head confidently and said, "no".
Her eyes widened. "WHAT? Then why does everybody believe in Santa?"
Me: People like to pretend that there's a magic in Christmas -
Her: Then who buys all those presents for everybody? GOD?

Oh I could just leave it at that - she totally believes that God provides EVERYTHING! Isn't she so precious?

I told her God provides us with what we need, He knows everything. But the stuff you get from Christmas is from people..... (I didn't go into who buys it, and that it's a marketing scheme to boosts the economy or that things might be a little sparse b/c we're bringing home a brother - no she might chose the toys over the brother)

Her big brother was quiet - he was watching me, watching and listening to how I answered the questions. Lastly I reminded her that it's ok for her friends to believe in Santa - and that she shouldn't over think things.... she can be a deep thinker!

The truth is the best route - then you don't have to cover up and try to remember any silly lies that don't really matter.....

next post - probably going to be a little Joy to the World played on the violin during Christmas Eve Service.

Until then PEACE and JOY and LOVE during this Holy time of the year!

2011-12-20T20:53:00.000-05:00

In honor of 20 years of advocating for the forgotten, our agency recently put together a video of waiting children.

Since our children have been home almost 3 years, I've been following families in this circle for almost 4 years.

It struck me how wonderful many of these children look! I met some at the orphanage, I watched some go from not-yet-referred to having a forever family. It's amazing what good nutrition and a loving family does for an orphan - for anyone!

These aren't just beautiful faces - they're families whom I communicate with regularly, pray for regularly, and watch grow into a family, encourage and receive encouragement.

Many have shared the hard transitions, most of those times are just a memory though because LOVE HEALS! Loving a child, who you've taken the risk to welcome into your home and family really does heal so much! It's so hard in the beginning, and hard times come around - just like with birth children - but everyone deserves to grow up in a loving, warm, nurtured, home!
Get ready to smile and watch on!!!

video of waiting children

2011-12-02T22:06:00.002-05:00

Our Agency requested that families take a picture of their kiddos holding an 8x10 framed referral picture to put into a slide show they're putting together for the end of the year. I don't know how y'all do it, but getting it together to get this picture done was a little.... consuming....
I had to
order the picture,
wait 5 days
ask the kids to hold it like this
stand like this
look at this
smile like this
open your eyes like this
relax like this

Finally I just took a bunch of pictures while trying to get them to laugh.
Daddy was behind me making faces
and I was OK with that
as long as they were trying to do all of the above mentioned activities to produce a decent picture

I even thought last night I should wash her hair so it would be bouncy for the picture
but she had Gospel club after school
then violin group class
didn't even get her homework done til this morning
so there was NO.WAY. we were fitting in a bath with hair washing...
thus
the 'au natural' look - which to tell you the HONEST TRUTH
I'm really OK with it... Honestly! ya know why?
Because they're holding the picture
standing together
side by side
actually smiling
with their eyes open
and they look relaxed to me!

Hope the agency puts their picture in their slide show - but if they don't
I'll make up my own

2011-11-11T09:02:00.000-05:00

One of the benefits of adopting is the friends I've made during the process. These are the "Connected Child" friends I have. We meet a couple of times a month to talk about

http://empoweredtoconnect.org/book/

This book is great for understanding raising all children, not just adopted children. There are many insights and structures to help parents understand their children and behaviors they display as well as effective reactions to behaviors that might be misunderstood.

It's a great resource to go back to after reading it for reminding

some of the daughters in our adoption group

When I reflect on this book - the quote that pops into my head is that these children need to be treated with kindness (even when they've done something you would consider to be wrong or 'bad' and you need to correct them or discipline them). They didn't ask to be in the trauma of adoption. Their lives have been disrupted and they've had to develop coping mechanisms to help them deal with things that they cannot control.

They have to deal with scary questions like:

Who will hurt me next?

Who will feed me?

What / When can I eat?

Who will love me?

How will I stay warm?

A picture of older adoption

If you have adopted or are considering adopting - a child of any age - this is a great resource. It's not the only resource though. What are you reading?

Adoption a waiting / older child

2011-11-10T21:56:00.001-05:00

He's about to turn 11 at the orphanage 12/08

Currently we're filling out our paperwork for grants & no interest loans for our upcoming travel this winter.

Somehow we've found ourselves 'ok' with this situation. There was a time when opening up a new charge card was fine, ok, no big deal, so we could make a purchase that we 'just had to have'! Looking back all that feels very foolish and selfish. Our lives were very self centered and about our comfort. If it was chilly, turn up the heat, if was humid, turn on the AC - just do it, don't bother checking with anyone else or considering dealing with being uncomfortable.

Something happened on the way to West Virginia.... well it was happening a little earlier but the door was cracked open and the silence was broken when we brought the youngest of 5 to college. Some of you have heard this story before so I'll give you the short version, if you'd like a refresher please read back to the early years of our blog - 2008, which just seems like yesterday.

Hubby returned from Kenya a few days before our travels. He was gone almost 3 weeks. I HATED being home alone at night. I actually liked being on my own during the day - cereal for supper, tuna in the can for breakfast, whatever, whenever, just me and the dog and no rules!

"We can do something, we can have a whole family live in our upstairs." . . . .
That was a little scary to hear.
His heart was breaking and he wanted to do something.

The school year was challenging and our lives were rather quiet. We did a few fun things; a week at a light house being light house keepers, a few marathons (him, not me), skiing, small adventures, just us.

By May of '08, 9 months later, another school year almost closing, our pastor did a sermon series on caring for the orphan. We almost missed this sermon b/c we were traveling - but since we'd missed the 2 or 3 previous weeks, which was really unusual, we made the effort to be in church - or God just made sure we didn't miss this one!

Pastor talked about possible excuses that aren't real reasons to say no to adopting. Finances and age were our excuses. However, adopting was almost a no brainer - we were so excited and scared! We kept saying we needed to talk 'about this' but really had our answer. We knew that God had a plan for us, but we didn't know what it was.

Age? I guess we're not too old - How old was Abraham when he became a dad?
Finances? We needed to get some things in order - Hello Dave Ramsey!

Lucky for us there were a couple of families who had been through the process, or were currently going through the process that we didn't feel alone. In fact, we felt very supported - and several families came on board to do international, domestic adoption, sponsorships and foster care. This was a whole new world to us. Church family was very supportive, some of our own family members were nervous and cautious, they weren't on board, and weren't around when we were having heart felt conversations about what we thought God was asking us to do.

Lucky for us again - (and honesty I know it's not luck, but LOVE, God's love, that we were open to His adventures as we could love the unloved.) Our process went very quick. We hit a snag at one point when we thought we were going to receive a referral for a 2 and 4 yr old sibling set of girls from India. We never considered anyone younger than 2 b/c we (I) didn't want to think of someone else changing my child's diaper when I went back to work the following September. Silly as it sounds right now, it was easy for me to say, 'over 2' is my preference, not knowing that over 2 is an older child.

Referral Picture 8/08

When it was time to get a referral we were shown 2 sets of siblings and offered a choice. I know that looking at pictures of older children was a little scary for me. I had other children, ages 19 - 27 yrs old, 3 step children, 2 bio kiddos (and another in heaven) I knew what it was like to have babies, snuggle, love, cuddle and raise them. I knew what it was like to snuggle, love, cuddle and read to my nieces and nephews and friends' children. What would it be like to ..... raise someone else, not born from my womb? born from someone else, who raised them in their cultures? ... well, I did have step children - so I sorta, kinda, know what it's like to raise children without any borders in the home. I know what it's like to love other people's children. What I didn't know was how easy it would be and hard at the same time, to love another child who didn't ask for trauma in their lives, who didn't ask to have a story that everyone wanted to hear but no one wanted as their own story. I didn't know that adopting a boy, 11 yrs old, would automatically make me proud of his beautiful singing voice, soccer skillz, awesome drumming ability and hurt for him b/c he's shy and forgetful and learning English - on top of being orphaned at the age of 10. My heart breaks regularly for him - 'not fair' comes to my mind, but is never said by him.

Updated pictures 12/08
Honey is 5
Jack is almost 11

Referral Picture 8/08

I didn't know that I didn't know my friends very well when a racists comment would fly out of their mouth without batting an eye.

I always 'felt bad' for the awkward, lonely, dirty, neglected child(ren) in my classroom, but I never knew I had a voice in their lives to make them feel better, or included, or wanted - and now, through the adoption of my 'older' children my heart pounds louder for the unloved, unwanted, and different children.

We're waiting to travel to China for our next older waiting child - no more credit cards, no more mountains of debt to drag us down. The only thing we need to focus on is this little one's trauma to begin healing.

Watching her brother's soccer game 9/11!!!

Doing what he loves! 9/11

oh yea, and to get that loan to pay for our trip across the world to bring our Stephen Francis home to his very loving family!

2011-11-05T20:45:00.001-04:00

It's been quite the week, and I don't know where to begin..... we had a nor'easter, lost power, nearly had a tree hit the house.... and yada yada yada....

It all began a October 27 at work when a few teachers were crabbing about some snow in the forecast and it's untimeliness.... you see, they hadn't yet raked their leaves. In fact, the leaves were late in doing their beautiful New England show. I thought to myself, we're ALWAYS late in raking our leaves. We have oaks lining our yard and in the back woods so there are many, many winters when we're not done and sometimes finish up during the January thaw. (oaks hang onto their leaves, and fall last. The leaves aren't even pretty - they go from green to brown, they don't stop at yellow or orange - straight to brown. And they're big! BIG BIG BIG! They're not fun to rake!)

Not the end of the world - so I thought these complainers were, well, um, complaining unnecessarily. I figured they're probably the type of people who Spring clean by April 1 and Fall clean by Oktember 30.

Saturday came - it was a super busy day. Hubby was out of town for the most of the day and we had grocery co-op to pick up, soccer jamboree, violin lessons all before noon...

coach presented trophies after the Coldest Soccer Game in the History of the World!!! They played 4 games.

The Secretary of Defense fulfilled her title!

The team did a cheer for the parents!

Besides being super busy - it was SUPER COLD! like bad mood cold! FREEZING COLD! and there was a lot of talk about this storm coming in.

Dad came home around 1:00 - we did a lot of talk about getting to the store (b/c there was a storm coming) - yet I was on fire doing laundry. We never did make it to the store -By 5:45 we lost power. But we survived.

We went to bed that night, in the dark - hopeful for what was to come. We did hear earlier in the day that if a house lost power prior to 5:30 then it would be 5 - 10 days before it would be restored.....

oh drat!

I think we were right on the cusp of that....

still being hopeful.

During the night we were woken a few times - it was hard to get a good sleep with the cracking of trees and flashes of transformers blowing. The big problem was that the leaves haven't fallen off the trees, so when it snowed, big wet flakes, the weight of the snow covered leaves snapped the branches and the ones hanging over the power lines broke the lines....

One thing I would have to say is that hubby likes to camp, and likes to rely on what we have instead of thinking about what we don't have - and as he and the kids were coming in and out of the house I was thinking about the fact that the were dragging in wood chips, dirt, snow, etc, and it would be really nice to be able to vacuum.... (I guess I was focusing on what I didn't have)

there is a simple beauty within some of these pictures

This one looks bad - but was actually harmless

Low sagging cable wire - no cable TV, no Internet (even after power went on)

branches everywhere - this part of the street is still shut down. In fact only 4 houses on our street had power restored when we did get our power back. We were out for a total of 3 days. It wasn't easy - but friends, family, and the majority of the towns around us were out 5 or more days or are still out on day 7.

He got himself in peculiar situation

do you see that little blue car?

He got himself stuck in front of our westerly neighbor's house around 12:30 am on Sunday morning.
But needed the police to escort him out of this situation, at our easterly neighbor's house, about an hour later. See those wires down?

There is a tree down in our back yard. The whole root ball came up in the air....

You can see it if you look really closely.

Here is the view from the back yard.... the tree came at an angle towards the back door. We weren't 'wood-ready' for the winter so God just brought the wood to our back door.

I preferred to stay in doors and keep warm, and full. The hubby wanted to start cleaning the yard and sent me on errands.

A day later when the snow started to melt the colors of the leaves were peeking through.

Clean up kept us busy.

after hubby chain sawed the fallen tree the root ball went back into its hole. "Good thing the kids weren't playing in that hole, they would have been crushed.".... yikes!!

coffee kept us warm.

We missed a week of school - some towns nearby will be out longer.

We did get some GREAT news while we were home bound and powerless..... News I didn't expect and wasn't dwelling on.

drumrolllllll pleaseeeee......

We received our LOA - Letter of Acceptance. China accepted our request to adopt Jin, YouKai. (Except they spelled his name wrong so we get to receive the LOA twice) . After getting our dossier logged in, back in September, I was so happy to have all that paperwork done...
DONE!!!

DONE!!!.....

NOPE!!!

the urgency with which we have to get the next steps done are adrenaline inducing - the kind I don't like. Everything is urgent and high priority! I hate that feeling!

BUT - to help accept that necessary feeling - the paperwork we received to help us prepare his i800, visa paperwork, indicated that we would be traveling in February 2012! 3 months!!!
Oh brother, I'm not ready!

2011-10-16T20:28:00.002-04:00

Warming up - not sure why her feet are doing something different than her teammates

Listening to coach give instructions, and yup, she's got a little rhythm in her listening

She's usually serious, unless she's not

She knows half time is for listening

to specific instructions

and regaining super powers

and listening to friends shout out her name

making her brother proud with 3 goals

she usually does have a little skip in her step

except for when it's more like a leap - notice everyone else is just .... walking

and a friendly picture with the opponent... a fellow Suzuki player and group member in her classroom

Always ready to watch her brother, book, ball, water, jacket

His games are a little more aggressive

and usually a little less scoring

each man has to work to get the ball

and no one gives in easily

it's about matching plays

persistence

being the 'man'

good thing we like to watch almost as we like to play!

It was a great weekend with both kids scoring!

Even if they didn't score it would be great watching them.

Honey usually plays defense so we're not expecting her to score, but coach changed it up this week. She scored 3 times and was beyond ecstatic! She always loves paying defense - this might change since she's tasted the goal!

We don't do a lot of eating out, but she convinced us to take her to Friendly's. (For those who aren't familiar with Friendly's, the kids meal includes a kids sundae, complete with candy pieces in it!) She couldn't eat supper b/c of her celebration lunch. (We're secretly hoping they don't score 3 goals each game!!!)

Do not be anxious but in everything give thanks

2011-10-10T17:23:00.001-04:00

I'm what you would call a recovering worry addict. I worried about EVERYTHING! Ask my husband, ask my kids, ask me!
typical day: will the car make it to work?
Will I get a flat tire?
Will a deer run out in front of me?
Will a student's parents call me b/c of something I said to their child?
Will I have broccoli stuck between my teeth?
How long will I teach before I realize my fly is down.... (ok, that one might have happened before.... )

I refuse to be a deer in the headlights.... (this guy's been visiting lately, I think he's on acorn cleanup duty - PTL!)

So when we were called to adopt I knew we didn't have a large enough bank account... in fact, I don't think we had a bank account, but we did have Dave Ramsey to set us straight.... and I'm not going to idolize him, but I will say he really helped us get a handle on the finances gifted to us by God.

I watched people work real hard to get people on board to help fund adoptions, and thought, "Wow! God is BIG!" and people sure do work hard!

Did I worry? well, can I refrain from answering that by telling you that I didn't really want to work as hard as I saw others working, and I was worried that I couldn't get the job done..... and that the adoption(s) was probably going to go on a credit card.....

but, then there's God, getting me to get that job done.
Getting me to work hard without me realizing it
He plopped a job in my lap
(one that's fun - for me)
He tossed an opportunity to the husband for a little work
(one that makes him feel good, and uses his muscles as well as his ability to get along with difficult people)
and so, it seems, that slowly, but surely, the adoption is being funded....
and is it hard work? OH YEA it is! I'm exhausted, yet efficient! I have to be packed in the morning as I leave with my lunch, snacks, coaching clothes, meeting materials, and oh ya, my regular work responsibilities. (which include a total re-do of our curriculum - that the whole department has to be on board and, um, they're not, yet....) add in traveling this year with a 6-8 week FML (family medical leave) and I can have a true case of the stress! - but for some reason, I don't.

So I'm not going to worry - I'm going to enjoy the time together as a family in the warm October day.... as we, along with so many others, like yourselves, are doing.

HOW TO PICK OUT A PUMPKIN:

First: Never pick up a pumpkin by it's stem....

Make sure you love the way it feels in your hands

Check for soft spots

Does it look honest? Will it last a few weeks?

Allow the littlest one to push the wagon, even if you know you won't need the wagon - it keeps her busy and involved

Remind the big one that the perfect pumpkin has a stem
Contemplate his question.... "Why?"

Pretend that it doesn't bother you when some people don't match their clothes

or intentionally avoid the camera - little stinker

Affirm the right thing to do - look and smile when mommy asks....

act casual, not deperate - it's only a pumpkin

look it in the eye... well, look at it

any soft spots?

blemishes?

(notice the short fat one in the wagon, family voted that one out and the taller leaner one in)

Give it the test....
Is it well balanced?

snap a few photos

allow the littlest one to carry the 13 pounder to the car

2011-10-04T19:47:00.001-04:00

Something awkward happened this week and it was a true 'slap-in-the-face' reflection of myself.

Our agency sent out an updated list of Special Focus Children.

Special Focus Children are those children who are really adoptable yet the adoption agency has to give an extra push to get the children adopted. Our little guy is a Special Focus child b/c of his blood needs.
In the big picture - we're thinking no biggie!
We can get him to the doctor's as much as he needs.
We have health insurance,
we have a daddy whose job is to run around during day getting things done while mommy is at work and who doesn't require much sleep,
we have room,
and want to grow our family,
most important, we have love, hearts filled with love,
love to love one another as Jesus has loved us,
hearts filled with love to love the unloved,
love the orphan,
love the widow.
Our guy's Special Focus is a no brainer for us -

The whole 'thing' about Special Focus Children is that you can be a little older to adopt one, they're SN, (Special Needs) {which ironically is just weird that the requirements are 'lessened' to adopt a Special Focus or SN child and yet they might need longer care, more intense care, higher amounts of therapeutic care... ANYHOW....}
where was I?
(obviously digressing...)

Another 'thing' about Special Focus Children is that a family can adopt 2 children on one Dossier - and dossier's are mighty excruciating to compile - Home Study, Social Worker comes and asks the most detailed questions that make you question your upbringing.....then you have to find a bunch of official papers that are proof of birth, marriage, job, finances, income, taxes, proper disposal of .....

so it's a little appealing to think that once a family has completed the above mentioned marathon of paperwork, notarized, certified, authenticated, it only has to be done ONE TIME to be eligible for 2 children!!! (adopted at the same time or within 12 months) it's almost like a potato chip - once you're on the road to one child you want another!!! (without 1/2 the pain of child labor - not mentioning the wait, the LOI, PA, LOA, TA article 5....and all of the other alphabet soup that has to be digested during this time!)

Well the 'slap-in-the-face' reflection of myself happened when a BEAUTIFUL little almost 2 yr old Special Focus child was featured on our agency's website. I email and inquired - I was one of at least 20 families interested in this sweet thing!

The awkward thing is that I'm not pounding down the doors at the agency's email for any other child - just this one. She spoke, 'cuteness' to me... I'm SO VAIN! Who am I to 'pick a child' based on their cute factor.

let me take a side trip -
I show pictures of my children to my students, and talk about their adjustment to America and tell them how they came to be a part of our family. I let them ask questions, and the kids are corrected when they ask about their 'real' mothers. One 'tough' boy who has a reputation for unfavorable behavior asked if it 'felt weird to pick my kids like I was picking out a puppy'..... (OUCH) He was sensitive as he asked, he wanted to know, and had a look on his face that told me that he didn't know how to word the question, he even said that he didn't want 'this to sound bad', and yup, I told him, it was weird b/c I was shown 2 pictures of siblings and had to pick one.... which meant I had to not pick one....

Again, picking kids is... weird....
so continuing with my slap in the face - why am I jealous that someone else got this precious cute thing when I should first praise God for providing a family for this little one!??

Why don't I just tell our agency to please find our second child so we can bring them home with our little guy,

their brother.....?
What's holding me back?

2011-09-25T21:23:00.000-04:00

Last week when we received an update with the precious photos of our soon to be son... there was something not too flattering on the very last line of the report; I'll share the last 3 lines with you, let's see if you notice it too.

He can eat all kinds of food, but can not eat greasy food.

He is in the orphanage.

He did not receive a package from the family.

ya, you see, the family is not competent to adopt - we've known that we can send the package since mid June..... Honey and I went out and purchased a set of cars the very weekend we heard we had PA (pre approval)..... but the cars sat on the counter in a box ALL.SUMMER.LONG.....

so today, after recovering from the blow to our wallet by receiving, not the LOA, but a reminder that our 3rd agency fee has to be paid before we receive our LOA, and recovering from the blow to our hearts after looking at his cute face, and reading his medical report (he's 3 feet tall and weighs 20 lbs) and finally, getting over that we're behind schedule on the 'package from the family' ordeal!

we went out shopping

so we can fill up a box

with some soft goodies,

this one has a sound machine insert that we're going to bring with us

We have friends who've adopted whose children can't sleep in a quiet room - need background noise (probably due to sleeping in an orphanage and needing to sleep amongst all the sounds)

He's probably never had a soft, satin edged baby blanky

and some hand size plastic cars,

and a throw away camera so the nannies can take pictures of our little guy's friends

and some treats for the nannies caring for our little one!

now, if we can get a quick family photo so we can get this in the mail before we travel to China.....

Introducing........

2011-09-21T21:50:00.000-04:00

HAPPY DAY!

We received an update with some photos.

Little Guy receives 'washed red blood cells' as needed

last year he needed 3 transfusions

but the year before he needed 8

can't wait to get him home to make sure he's getting what he needs

He needs to meet his sisters and brothers

and his cousins, aunts, uncles, grand parents too!

he needs to meet his dog

and we need to get our loving hands on him

there's a whole church family that wants to get to know him too

Hang on "boy in China"!

"our little guy"!

"brother in China"!

(you see, he needs a name too - any suggestions would be appreciated!!)

2011-09-18T20:59:00.001-04:00

Perseverance

Determination

Will

Power

Want

Need

warming up for the game

focused

on target

using all she has to make it work

going it alone

fearless

willing to risk it all

protecting her goal

reliable

trustworthy

able

striking

overcoming

wanting it all

going after it

unstoppable

acceptance

contact

successful

href="http://nihaoyall.com" target="self"><img alt="Sunday Snapshot" src="http://i56.tinypic.com/jpvipj.jpg" />

2011-09-11T07:44:00.001-04:00

My previously youngest daughter bought her dad a puppy, and came over to show us! (I have trouble not calling Lauren my youngest, she was the youngest for 18 yrs)

Jack can keep himself busy for hours, so while we were playing with the puppy, he was doing his tricks.
Here he drops to the ground with a ball on his back,

does a push up, and then gets back up

it's a little tricky

he had sweat dripping down his face ....

While we just play around with a pup, getting him tired out.

And this one loved him so much, extra bonus that she can pick him up - "Does he weigh the same as my brother in China?"

"No, Honey, he weights a little less than your brother in China."

(Brother in China is still without a name)

2011-08-28T19:18:00.000-04:00

Some photos from

the previous weekend....

2011-08-27T20:25:00.001-04:00

When you go on a moon light paddle with an Ethiopian, you might have to wear a sweatshirt

and if you don't bring your own paddling vessel you might get invited to tag along with some friends

and when you want to impress your friends you might want to stand up in the vessel

and when you stand up in a vessel there might be a 13 yr old Ethiopian with a sweatshirt on and relaxing who thinks he's been challenged

and when a 13 yr old is challenged, and warned not too, he just might not listen

Ethiopian is on the other side... and he might have a soaking wet sweatshirt on

2011-08-27T16:22:00.002-04:00

2011-08-21T21:37:00.003-04:00

During our parent education for adoption we're encouraged to embrace our children's homeland history and culture.

We agree.

Think it's important.

Do what we can.

Sometimes doing this brings up conversation of their past, which is usually interesting, but spotty. Their memories of their past is becoming .... well, history with blurred edges. They're telling stories differently, details from some stories are mingling with other stories.

Sometimes it's really hard to 'embrace' their culture b/c of the grieving that comes with it. It's a little like that messy closet that needs cleaning desperately and if you don't do it soon, you won't be able to open the door b/c the junk is falling out and you can't close it ...... it's a mess! Not saying that our kiddos have junk for memories, or culture - I'm referring metaphorically to the fact that once it's starts to come out and there is no controlling it (the memories, the grieving, the sadness, the anger, spills out, uncontrollably at times). Sometimes I'd rather that they didn't spend their energy like this, sad, mad, tired.

But we do.

And they do.

And it's always there, never know what's going to trigger it.

We went to a festival a couple of weeks ago and sorta enjoyed some entertainment from the West Indies. It was 'kind of' cultural. The afternoon started with praising God and worship music, then as the afternoon wore on there was more dancing and the flavor changed a little. The point of going was to put the children in the majority - they're always in the minority in our environment..... it's the way it is. (When we do go to Ethiopian Church it's us, the parents, in the minority and I have to tell you initially I felt awkward about that, I'm one who likes to blend into the crowd, so add in that I'm pasty white and don't speak the language, ... yea, uncomfortable - I know where that gazed look comes from when our children are trying to escape, detach, check-out).

More than a year and a half ago daddy wanted to get a group of people (20+) and participate in the Dragon Boat races at our local Riverfront Recapture Asian Festival. He thought some friends would love to participate b/c they adopted from China and this would be part of embracing her culture. We'd get to know her culture, enjoy fellowship, and have some fun. It would help our kiddos with the 'culture' thing, it's not 'our culture', 'your culture', 'their culture', it's .... CULTURE! And quite honestly, we like Culture.

well, it didn't pan out as daddy had hoped, and we didn't do it. :-(

Meanwhile, a year goes by and we're now adopting from an Asian country...... Time to learn a new culture.... (I'm overstimulated here, don't know how to embrace the Mandarin language, especially since our above mentioned friends who've previously adopted from China learned some Mandarin and their little one didn't know the language... is it worth the time? I'm hoping for a cheat sheet like the one we received from the orphanage director in Ethiopia....(only in Chinese, this time)

Helpful phrases;

Where's the coffee?

Do you want another lollipop?

I like you're shoes....

Whose prettier, your momma or baba?

OK, seriously,

Do you need to go potty

please don't potty in the park via you're split pants (that's for you Bev.... ;-)

I know, I'm not being serious....It's really my escape mechanism.... the actual adoption feels so far away, it's how I cope!

oops, I digress,

We received and email forwarded from a local big company from a friend looking for paddlers for their Dragon Boat team.

Daddy jumped in with both feet!

So our 'embracing culture' this weekend was participating in the Dragon Boat races, which actually does happen in CHINA!!!!!YIPPEE (oh and they could cause our travel to be delayed b/c the country stops to enjoy such culture! But I think that's not until Feb, Mar, Apr.

It was a lot of fun! We knew one other person on the team, and a family that was spectating!

There were three races that they participated in.

As they readied for the first two races, my adrenaline rose, my heart pounded, my mouth dried up..... I felt like I wanted to do some poly metrics to get rid of some pent up energy - and I was just a spectator!!!!

I had to talk myself down.

We got a ~~family~~ group photo

Good looking group - all dressed in orange

The team lined up, did some practice paddles, had some pep talks

changed their strategy more times than anyone could count

and were off to the waiting area,

where we (spectators) couldn't go

Good Luck!

This guy was always waving, and the other - always serious.... (ahem)

So we had our plan

Up to the bridge to watch the boat race

(ouch - they stunk)

but had a lot of fun!

And looked beautiful!

and had a lot of fun!

did it again, and looked better

and had a lot of fun.

they looked awesome!

in orange.

The third round came and they were down some people. The team captain, Patrick, had to go recruit some people. They found a few AWESOME women paddlers - these chicks were ON FIRE! oh yea, they needed a drummer too....

I did tell one person, earlier in the day, when she was joking (sorta) that I could help out if needed..... if needed, whose going to remember that, whose going to need me?...

swallowing previously spoken words when she ran up to me and declared my previous words, jumping right back at me to bite me!

yea, I said I would help if they needed me...... they need me?

the instructions came belting out

the questions were shot back

the nerves rose faster than a dragon boat paddling down the CT river on a hot August afternoon!

someone threw me a tee shirt

I grabbed my phone, opened my metronome app and listened over and over for the sound of 60 beats a second.... they were DEPENDING on ME!!!!!

I told my husband earlier that this is a cool event for people who work together - have some team building fun on Saturday to talk about Monday morning, helps re-entry from the weekend!

Now THEY're DEPENDING on the BEAT OF THE DRUM!!!!! (This means I have to stand out in the crowd, pound the drum as loud as I could in perfect timing so that the group could joyfully go back to work on Monday and relive the excitement!!!) PRESSURE!

~~Sorry no pics, when I get some I'll post one or two~~ - Thanks for the pictures VERONICA!

I tell you it was FUN!

The steer-er was AWESOME - the guy in the stern of the boat (the back) was giving directions, gave a wonderful pep talk, one that was reasonable and made the paddlers want to try their best. One that made me want to pound my muscles to the core. The team's previous time was 3:18, he wanted to shave 2 seconds off. (I wondered why he didn't want to bite more time off ???) He revved us up and the horn sounded.... I pounded and pounded.

Couldn't look up - it would have broken my concentration

pounded and pounded

saw the 100 meter marker go by, glasses were slipping down my nose

pushed them up and tried not to let the vivid imagination go....

pounded and pounded

used my peripheral vision to keep in time with the AWESOME women in the front seats

pounded and pounded,

200 meter marker went by

Steer-er gave his command to increase 10%

pounded and pounded,

300 meters went by,

glasses slipping

handle of the drum paddle hitting my leg with each pound

pounded and pounded

louder and louder

400 meters went by.....

there was cheering,

I think we were ahead

the other boat's drummers weren't as loud as earlier

pounded and pounded

there was celebratory cheering from our own boat!

I think I hear someone yell

"TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH"

we beat our contenders.....

by a mile!

final time....

3:07

same post a week later

2011-08-17T22:05:00.002-04:00

2011-08-10T11:20:00.000-04:00

Everyday
the same feeling:
excitement
anticipation
maybe today will be the day

as we walk down to the mailbox....
you see, we have (almost) ALL of our Dossier paperwork done! Notarized and SEALED!!!!
We've even sent it off to our agency for inspection
"It looks great!" was their response!
Initially their response was,
"We will get to it when we can, we have to do completed Dossiers first"
yup -
ours is incomplete... and we knew it when we sent it in.
We are waiting for ONE document
ONE document that our friends received just DAYS after getting their biometric prints done....
so we let our hearts hope for the same response... we were hoping we'd get our paperwork back in DAYS, not WEEKS, never mind that .... it could take MONTHS!!!!! Why did I get my hopes up?

What was I thinking when I let my heart goooooo

Everyday the same, surf the blogs, follow people's journey's and hope for something good in the mail.....

Well.... It wasn't what we were hoping for, but it'll pacify me for a little while....

a "So Loved" purchase contributes to orphans who need heart surgery - check out my side bar for more info.... We shouldn't need motivation to donate to the needy - this should come from our hearts, expecting nothing in return... this shirt sports John 3:16 on the back.... we've done nothing and get everything in return.

2011-08-04T21:28:00.002-04:00

Joined a yahoo group

b/c some friends suggested

when I had a lot of unanswered questions

about the province

and the orphanage

and the nannies

I didn't know where to go - so I did a search

and searched yahoo groups with the name of our province in it...

look what I found!!!

now I'm not 100% sure our little guy is in these pictures,

but what I do see is

colors!

kids out of cribs!

3:1 (give or take) ratio of children to adults

physical contact

cute chubbiness!

did I mention colorfulness! overly so!

In other pictures there were toy shelves emptied and toys spilled onto the playing area with little ones mixed in them

nannies feeding children

nannies letting children help self feed

bath time.... (giggle!)

seems to me that there are orphanages and then there are orphanages.....

My mama's heart was relieved to see these pics, yet now he's becoming more and more tangible.... does that make sense? He's not posing for someone, many ones, to look at and look over, in hopes that someone would pick him... I'm thinking - who gets to pick their kiddo?

no soap box today - that's for another day....

enjoy the bright, happy, joyful colors, and see if you can find the common factor amongst the little boys! I think it's him..... yet it's possible that it's not. I'm going with - it's him!

So Loved

2011-08-03T08:26:00.000-04:00

Check out the So Loved tee-shirts by clicking the So Loved icon on the sidebar.
They
Are
Gorgeous!

Each tee-shirt sold raises money for a child's heart surgery while living in an institution.

Can you imagine your precious child having a heart condition and needing surgery? And NOT having a home to come too for recuperation, unlimited cuddles. And coaxing back to full strength?

Check out these tees
Buy one
Feel good
Because you are
So Loved!

God So LoVED the world that he gave His only son to die on the cross so that we may have everlasting life

Forever
With GOD
eternally
in heaven

So Loved is having a give away - you can win one for a person that you So Love!

BBB

2011-08-02T22:16:00.002-04:00

Boundaries
Building Relationships
Being Real

After my previous (AAA) post, well, even during the post, as I was writing, I was thinking that all this sounded real good in a book, or from someone who thinks they know what they're talking about. However, I have to be honest. Being a parent, whether to an adopted or bio child(ren) is exhausting and can be filled with guilt if you allow that to happen. And we shouldn't spend ourselves totally on doting on a child, or children.

I want to discuss boundaries;

Have some!
For your child,
For your family,
For your friends,
but be real about your expectations. Tell your friends and family how you're feeling - need some space, want some quiet company, need to 'just get out' and talk about what you're feeling.

Tell your child what they can do, touch, make, use, have.
Allow them access on your terms, building respect for the items, or activity, while developing boundaries. You don't have to give it all to them all the time!

Food is a delicate topic; our kiddos came home so addicted to sugar it was like we were hosting addicts of a different kind. It was HARD to get a certain someone to eat! Finally after a few weeks as her language was developing she shared (and I probably shared this with you all b/c it cracks me up) that she likes 3 things after my exasperated comment that she doesn't like anything!
She responded with,
"I like spikey-tee (spaghetti)
macaroni,
&
Pasta!"

yea, three things....
so food boundaries have to be handled delicately - offer them a place to help themselves, and limit the sugar. Let them know where they can get the raisins, apples, cut carrots, or whatever you have, Cheerios, animal crackers etc. A small container filled 1/2 way at their height will help them. Allow them unlimited amounts of water, but not juice, soda etc. Those items are tasty and fun! They'll fill up on empty calories and not eat the good stuff!

I am reminded of a certain 24 yr old.... once he started to walk he would carry his cup of crackers around the kitchen. I was so afraid he would choke so I encouraged him to eat in one place, he could leave the area if he was finished. I would put a secure top on his container and he'd bring it along with him inside his dump truck, or back hoe - and this my friends is a bio kid... all food hording doesn't come from adopted children. Later on I would find little piles of animal crackers inside some of my low cabinet shelves, and wonder how/when they got there....

Boundaries cont,
tell your lovely little ones how much you love them and they need to ..... give you five in the bathroom, let you finish your lunch,
whoa....
wait a minute,
I'm listening to myself ask my child if I can ... finish my lunch?
Something here doesn't sound right.

I find that I will cut a deal with my little one when she wants to play a game while I'm in the middle of something... (FB, making the beds, FB, loading the laundry, FB)
I heard myself ask her if I can finish this and then I'll play a game with her.... yup, I heard myself ask a 7 yr old permission to do my mommy chores before I played as if we're BFFs.... something is wrong with this message.
Now I tell her that I'm going to finish xyz, and if she wants to get the game ready I can play a round in between my chores..... I'm playing with her, giving her some needed attention and getting my things done at the same time.

Do I feel split into many pieces?
Yes
Do I have a solution?
Yes, get used to it! (I know, that's no solution - sorry)
Seriously, parenting wasn't meant to be a ride on the guilt mobile! It is meant to be rewarding, hard work, loving, being loved and fun! and yes, hard work!

Kiddos aren't our BFF's (I'm reminded) and they should be told this. They don't have to like me, they have to respect me!

And so, my BBB post is a little, OK a lot different from my AAA post, and I feel strongly about both sides of this topic, it's important - it's up to us to give them all the love we can, as we grow them, nurture them, be a great role model (I treat my kids they way I want them to treat their kids).

Stay tuned for the
CCC post

Consistency
Caving - (breaking down and not being consistent)
Cravings

well, maybe that won't be my next post
;-)

AAA

2011-07-30T11:34:00.002-04:00

Adoption
Acceptance
Accountability

In the adoption arena you can hear the oooos, and aaaahhs when adoptive parents receive their referrals. I've done it. I'm currently in love with my friend's little 7 month old waiting for her to pick him up in Ethiopia.

Prior to referrals parents are anxiously awaiting wondering what their children will be like, favorite foods, favorite parents, silly habits, do we think about their annoying habits? I don't think so. Sometimes adoptive parents 'fall in love' immediately at seeing their new children.
really?
fall in love?

I think that's an honest exaggeration..... can you fall in love with someone you haven't met? Someone who hasn't met you yet and hasn't fulfilled your expectations?

just being real here

As an adoptive parent we have expectations,
expectations of our spouses,
current family members,
friends,
co-workers,
community,
ourselves,
our not-yet-met child(ren)

and when 'our' expectations aren't fulfilled, we're disappointed and critical of others.

Prospective parents are required to do 'Parent Training' (which is a good thing! even with and educational background and 2 masters, I still need and want more!)

There are many books written on adopting and bonding, adopting trans racially, domestically, and the conditions, expectations, diagnosis, and even the fact that adopting internationally has no guarantees, the child you think you're referred has different conditions, more or less severe conditions, misrepresented conditions than when you meet them..... it's truly a gamble.... or is it stepping out in faith? All this preparation is helpful, but....... bringing home people from the hospital or from an orphanage is still hard! (I couldn't believe the hospital people were going to allow me to take my 7 day old home all by myself, with my husband.... what if I broke him? - fast forward 24 yrs later to today.....)

Accepting ourselves as people and moving forward, even with our wonderful or heart wrenching pasts, it is important to the positive development of our children. Loving our bio children and adopted chilren is hard at times, because I don't think Love really happens at first sight. Sometimes it has to grow on us.... (well, except for when Mr. Right entered my life.... I tried to resist, and did so for about a half of a second.... another story for another time.)

Speaking of children, I remember thinking, "I love you, but I don't really like what you're doing right now" or when asked by one of them, of course while in the company of the others, "Who do you love more?" (I remember asking my parents that!) Today when I'm asked that question I am prepared with my answers; "I love God the most! and next I love daddy" their eyes always bulge out of their sockets when I say that in front of daddy, they think his feelings are going to be hurt.... great intro to loving God with all your heart.

Back to Accepting:
When our kiddos came home from Ethiopia, I knew I wanted to love them. It wasn't hard at times to be in love with them. It was very trying at other times though, like when they wanted to go back to their former life and in my mind I was thinking, "Are you crazy? You have your own room, toys to play with, clothes and food! How could you want what you had?" I KNOW THIS IS RIDICULOUS, but I was in denial and felt personally rejected. I was jealous of their previous life b/c they wanted it more than what we were giving them and didn't appreciate 'all I had done for them'.

I'm learning, and learning is never going to stop. I know that and it's ok. Occasionally I think that I'm messing them up permanently, but I'm trying my best. (and hope they can forgive me when they're older and look back at how I tried to give them a good foundation - regardless of the stuff they might have or not have acquired along the way).

Accountability:
I have the honor of meeting up with a handful of other moms who are / have adopted and we're doing The Connected Child Bible Study. Had an ahhhhha moment. As we chatted about our children's behaviors, eating, social, etc, I realized that connections to people are so important. [not to rush independence]. When a child has a need they're going to let us know.... sometimes the needs have gone unmet for so long that they've run out of strategies to communicate their needs and therefore figure it out themselves. Socially or unsocial, they're taking care of things themselves. One thing that I sort of figured out, and now that I'm thinking about it, it makes perfect sense. If a child is constantly looking for food, they're trying to make a connection or fulfill a need, looking for some satisfaction. Many times we're busy trying to 'get it all done' and we count down the days until our adopted children have let their pasts go.... (ahem..... note to self, and readers..... THIS IS NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN..... we never let go of everything in our pasts, its what makes us who we are, why do we expect them too?)

While you're hoping your child will adjust, transition, fit into their (your) new normal, which initially I thought would be to develop autonomy, independence, please consider getting off that 'get it all done' train and connect with your child. Give your child the gift of EYE CONTACT, 100% undivided attention, time to play, talk, and if you're exhausted at the end of the day, you're probably doing something right! It's not about making them fit into our lives and families and becoming independent people, it's really about helping them feel loved and secured so that they can trust and lean on us. Reminds me of not being independent from God, but leaning on Him for guidence and reassurance all the time - and being ok with that! I NEED THAT!

She's being independent, playing by herself. She always asks the dog to join her when she goes outside by herself.

As she was outside yesterday and I was getting the feeling that I was trying to 'get it all done' and was wondering why she wasn't underfoot, I was making a mental note that it was 'nice that they don't need constant entertainment/interaction'..... today I'm rethinking that... It's so important to communicate constantly with our children, spouses, friends, con.stant.ly! So as I do feel guilty that I was allowing her to figure out what to do.....

my heart was warmed at her choice of activities. She was showing her love for us, 2 and half yrs later, the love is easy to see and feel.

Today I'm praying for our not-yet-named-little boy in China, that God will prepare his heart for our family, give us the capability to love him and for him to accept our love. I also pray that we'll be prepared physically and emotionally to bring him into our family! (and that I don't break him, but can be a part of fixing him!)

all things are possible with God, Mark 1:27

2011-07-21T19:53:00.000-04:00

This is the smile I like!

2011-07-20T22:06:00.002-04:00

During dinner tonight Jack was giving me the 'eye'.

I asked what he was doing and he told me he was trying out his look.

This is how he looks at the girls......

(I don't like it)

Laughing, I told him he looks like Elvis.

Jack: "Elbis?"
Me: yea, Elvis
Jack: Did he die?
Me: Yes, he's dead, Elvis is dead..... (sorry reader if you didn't already know, or suspected otherwise)
Jack: When did he die? Was it just happened?
Me: No, it happened August 16, 1977. Our family was vacationing in California, the day before we had all been in Hollywood looking at the Hollywood Stars on Hollywood Boulevard in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater.... (Why can I remember this clearly? I wasn't even a real big fan, nor am I now.)

Jack: How did he die?
Me: He used drugs, and.... (unable to finish my sentence b/c of interrupters)
Jack: How come ALL famous people use drugs?
Me (quickly responding that it's dangerous to make assumptions and generalizations - this is where I lost him)....
Honey pipes in startling both of us: DIE? HE DIED? (yea, she just caught onto our conversation) WAS HE BAPTIZED?

2011-07-19T17:13:00.000-04:00

I'm checking my bloggy friends to see if they've updated and noticed that my last update was 2 weeks ago, could it be? yup.

Since we had our notary ok'd by the Secretary of the State we've been to NYC to do a sealing of our documents... aka Authentication.... I think. (I say, 'I think' b/c since there are recent changes and some things are a little different, however we're new to China and therefore everything is, well, not different but new!) Each piece of paper is separately certified by the SOTS* at our local State Capital. This is where she confirms that the people who have notarized our paperwork are indeed who they say they are. For us, it's one notary for all of the paperwork we had to generate or had filled in, financials, verifications, physicals. It's one person.... yet each document gets its own large gold seal... (and there is a fee per document - go ahead, look that up ..... I'm not going to give you a link). The other documents that need the pretty gold seals are the ones that were ordered from the various town halls located in the towns that we were born in, or married in.... for us.... that's a total of ..... 2, they are signed by someone other than our notary so they also need the big gold seal. We are so local it's actually boring! Talk about easy money for the SOTS.... I'm wondering if any of the fees that they collect could go towards the local economy..... or my adoption fund....

After each item has been touched, sealed, unstapled and re stapled (by the way the directions we received clearly state that we are not to unstaple any documents - and the notary papers are stapled to our documents.... the SOTS unstapled, and re stapled - I don't know what CHINA is going to think about that! THERE ARE STAPLE HOLES IN OUR PAPERWORK - I nearly had a coronary when I got our papers!)

After getting our papers done at the SOTS we went to NYC - took the train - just the hubby and myself! It was ~~exhausting~~g fun! Up at 4:30, out by 5am to get the 6something train - to get to Grand Central by 8:30 to haul our sneakered feet 13 blocks (I think) to the Chinese Consulate.

A few Consulate rules....
doors open at 8:30
windows open at 9:00
certain windows do certain official business.... I'm just concerned with Authentication
rushing any document adds a large fee to each individual fee
if you're rushing documents they have to be in before noon
rushing documents can be picked up after 2:00
there are signs everywhere and guards enforcing the signs that say, "no mobile phone use"
everyone is using their phone in line
don't fill out the forms, checking the rush box, and then decide to get a priority mail envelope without unchecking the rush box..... just offering a bit of advice - it's free advice, to you...... (paid the rush fee.... that's ok, it's only money, and we were done on the same day at 2:07)

Speaking of only money - we received our fingerprint invitation (that one document that still needs to get notarized, sealed, certified and be put into the dossier) and went to get our biometric prints done. I'm still a little confused by all this. If we had these done in the past, aren't they 'on record'? Our prints are matched with our names...... They've expired, which unfortunately for some, this happens during their waiting process. My name, my home study, my application to adopt, why new biometrics? they already have our prints, that are attached to our names..... I. don't. get. it.
What are they used for?

Meanwhile - just going to wait, pretend I'm comfy with all this

and wait. Maybe I'll play pretend....
or dress up,

or take a nap.....

*SOTS = Secretary of the State

2011-07-06T21:49:00.000-04:00

Big doings around these parts....

Yesterday I got the kiddos in the car and drove to the special place where the nice people tell you to show your ID, get in this line and pay, go to that line and wait.... then come back when we call you....

Today, at approximately 10:00 am, the very time Jack was exciting his Drum Teacher's home after lessons, my phone rang - which is very unusual b/c I really use it for texting and the calendar options.... not for talking to people. I KNEW it was the special people from the special place - almost as exciting as getting that special call from the agency with a referral....you know the one, "Hi, How ya'll doin?" in their cute southern voices.... (although neither of our agencies are in the south, they both have those sweet telephone voices. Note to self, don't apply there, my voice isn't sweet, it's more like DIRECT!)

So we just headed on over the capital of our state to the capitol building.... (I've always wondered why there are 2 different spellings when they sound the same and are found in the same general area..... )

Took a moment to appreciate the view.... yea, that's my little up there not waiting for her mama... she's on a mission.

Took a left

Made sure we were at the right place

Reminded the kids of the rules

Gave it the once-over....
and corrected the one who mispronounced

Annex,

then I had to define the word and there were passersby, you know, women dressed in their beautiful work clothes and white walking sneakers...I was nervous that I'd mess up and the gold seals would be taken away.....

On our way out I made them pose.....

Checked the time at the meter maid.... another lost art

this trip costs me a quarter! Only one - was hoping that was going to be enough and the nice man who took my ID said we set a record on being the speediest.... (Let's hope that's a trend for this adoption).

Isn't he handsome.... he brings his soccer ball and drum sticks with him where ever we go. So now when we're 'almost there' or coming up on something good, I ask for a "drum roll please". He ALWAYS obliges me... today he drum rolled on his soccer ball the entire ride home (about 15 min)

Why is she holding the precious red folder?

Probably b/c she always gives me a sense of peace - truthfully, her name translates to "Full of Peace"

I caught her doing this a couple of days ago.... couldn't resist the picture.

We don't do the 'zen' thing, we find our Peace somewhere else.... even if on our way to the notary's home we drive down a street that has the same name that we're 'thinking' about naming our new boy, and a lady bug flies into the car AT THE SAME TIME..... but we don't believe in that sort of stuff....

And now we'll pray for speed for our I800A invitation and results!

It's off to NYC on Friday to bring the special papers with their new gold seals to the Chinese Consulate!

It's going to be a quick trip - so if you could get, buy, eat, see, one thing in NYC, what would it be?

2011-06-23T22:54:00.002-04:00

So.... I'm thinking if I spent $15 more USCIS would have received our package 24 hours earlier.... well, don't know if that $15 savings / 24 hours later is going to cost us $2000 in a new home study or not.... We'll have to wait and see... Meanwhile - Please Pray for whatever God puts on your heart!

Label/Receipt Number: xxxx oooo xxxx oooo xxxx
Expected Delivery Date: June 24, 2011
Class: Priority Mail^®
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation^™Status: Delivered

Your item was delivered at 9:34 am on June 23, 2011 in LEWISVILLE, TX 75067.

Detailed Results:


	Delivered, June 23, 2011, 9:34 am, LEWISVILLE, TX 75067
	Arrival at Post Office, June 23, 2011, 9:18 am, LEWISVILLE, TX 75067
	Processed through Sort Facility, June 23, 2011, 4:05 am, COPPELL, TX 75099
	Processed through Sort Facility, June 21, 2011, 11:22 pm, SPRINGFIELD, MA 01152
	Acceptance, June 21, 2011, 3:52 pm, MY HOME TOWN, CT 060xx

No stress zone

2011-06-22T20:06:00.001-04:00

We're hanging on!

When we did our first adoption I decided that I wasn't going to "fall" for paying extra for a service we didn't need. Specifically, using expedite mailing services when the 2-3 day priority service will be 'good enough'.... well, that was before we were trying to beat a Hague clock, ticking loudly in our minds.... but.... old dog, new trick? I went off to the post office to express mail our I800A form to USCIS in order to proceed with our next steps.

For those in the adoption arena, you know what that means.... and for those not in the China Adoption Arena, you probably aren't aware of the ever changing 'rules' of international adoption. China is requiring Hague certified Home Study Agencies for all dossiers (paperwork that states who we are and what we do that is notarized, certified, authenticated aka sealed) and we, um, well, are taking a chance! Back in the early Spring I contacted our SW that did our first Home Study and she said that all she had to do is an addendum and the price would be significantly less than starting over. (significant= 3 digits, 50% less). She said 'no sweat' and we went forward!

SO, we're supposed to LOG INTO CHINA (LID) before October 1st. Working backwards; it's not impossible, if we don't hit any obstacles. We received our HS approval June 14, along with our certification, be we didn't get the HS in our hands until June 21. Did we lose a week? I feel like we did.

We had our I800A form ready and in the envelope, I found one in the closet..... yea, we keep these priority and express mailing envelopes in our office supplies - must be a sign of an adoption family! Hubs said something about a different mail - I heard "FLAT RATE" and switch gears from Express to Priority... then I got to the Post Office - had to make a phone call home b/c I forgot to bring the address (duh) and then made the poor postal worker run circles behind that counter.... Express, no Priority, wait delivery confirmation..... wait, Express..... the nice smiley man was so patient with me while I went..... $18 vs $5, 1 day or 3 days.... whats the big deal? ..... meanwhile..... Hubs took a 3 week job where he's not readily available at the phone to answer my million questions.... (I'm thinking the guy behind the counter at the PO deserves a big prize for dealing with me!)

I ended up going Priority + Delivery Confirmation = $5 and some change...... I felt pretty good with my frugleness.... until, I, um, well, realized that EVERY DAY COUNTS! AHHHHHHHHHHHH What was I thinking!!!!! minus 2 more days..... I hope it doesn't hurt much!

Hubs reaction? well, what's he going to do? ( is this the for-better-or-worse part? ) He didn't even show frustration on his face AT ALL!!!!!
He's my man!

We're taking the leap!

PRAYERS PLEASE!

2011-06-12T22:00:00.002-04:00

Had to run into the store for a few items, and Honey had the choice of going with dad to Jack's soccer game or coming to the store with me before the game.

I promised, just a few things.

While I was there, well, you know, a few things caught my eye....

$8 for a cute printed tee.

I almost got it too.... then remembered, there's a little guy in China

waiting

for us to get our paperwork done so we can go and get him....

so I went over to the truck section b/c....

I haven't told ya'll this yet,

but we got our PA...

no, we didn't get our Pennsylvania.....

silly,

We got our Pre-Approval!

which happens to mean that we can send our little guy

(that's his name for now - we're looking for suggestions)

a CARE PACKAGE!

so, over to the truck department.

He's three and a half, but remember, his development is probably not the same as his age.

Looks like a colorful, clean environment but you know,

it's an institution,

and well, mom's not there to ~~push~~ encourage him.

So I'm on the lookout for the type of truck you can push, and your hand holds onto it like a handle.

I didn't find the exact one my 24 yr old had.... (wonder why?)

but I did find a set of 4,

just plain,

push type

trucks.

And then the questions.....

Her: "Can I play with them until the little brother comes home?"

Me: "We're going to send 2 of them to him, and the other 2 are for when he comes home."

Her: "But he has to learn to share, and I want to play with these two," (picks out two)

Me: "Well, I think someone else is going to have to learn to share too."

The conversation went back and forth about how she should play with the trucks until our little brother comes home, and I tried to remind her that these are his trucks that we're sending to our little brother so he can have something from us to play with.

Then she asks how they work.

You just push them.

JUST PUSH THEM? Never mind, I don't want them if they don't DO anything.

(I'm thinking "PHEW" We'll learn about his toys/her toys later - then I think for a minute, maybe kids who've had nothing expect nothing, and can share....NAH, don't think so, there's that whole 'hording' thing that I've read so much about)

She delightfully helps with the basket of goodies, and the unloading onto the conveyor belt, and the bags.

opps, Take Two:

better:-)

As I was taking out the trucks, I noticed something

They DO do something....

and they make sounds too......

Look at the bottom...... I didn't see this at the store.... "free children from poverty!"

cool

2011-06-12T18:35:00.002-04:00

Update on my last post - the one when the teacher had to email me to tell me Honey was confused about lunch - when daddy said she could "buy ice cream OR pizza" for lunch and she thought she'd have just ice cream - THANKFULLY the teacher realized that she couldn't have just ice cream for lunch. Wouldn't that be any first graders dream?
- ICE CREAM FOR LUNCH!!!

I asked her which ice cream she selected this week. (last week it was the double Popsicle, good choice b/c she shared with Tiffany. "Tiffany's mom would say it's ok." (side note - I know Tiffany, and I know her mom, and um, I doubt Tiffany's mom would be ok with it).

Honey selected the 'one where you hold it, and it's circle.' (You all have it pictured right?) And you push it up. There are three colors, Orange, Green and Red. Orange is orange flavor, Green is Lemon flavor, I mean Lime flavor and Red is, I forget." So I offered; "Cherry?"

YES! Cherry!

And the best part? Besides the yummy cherry flavor was that she could ask her friends what color her Thung is. (yea, that's how she says tongue) She has a couple of other funnies;

excited is extited.

disgusting is dikgusting.

I asked Honey if she had a hard time picking an ice cream. She does have trouble making choices - she gets that from me! I have a hard time picking ANYTHING! (thus the plainness in my outfits). She said she didn't have a hard time picking out which ice cream to get because there is a "Thinking Spot" at the ice cream line. She was amazed that there were 2 people in the "Thinking Spot" with her, they couldn't make up their minds either! (I LOVE the idea of a "Thinking Spot", those lunch ladies sure do know how to move the ice cream line along!)

Good thing we don't depend on Honey to catch our dinner - we'd be eating ...... leaves!

We spend last Sunday resting in Fellowship!

It was very refreshing to be with such Godly people!

Honey was determined to figure out how to cast the line

to bring in a big catch

You should have seen the one that got away!

(and poor Jack had a soccer game and missed the fun.

:-(

Can't wait to get together with these beautiful friends next month.)

Until then........

2011-06-03T21:07:00.000-04:00

I received this email today from Honey's teacher:

Hi Honey's Mama,

Honey was very confused this morning about lunch today. She does not have home lunch but thought that she had to pick either pizza or ice cream to buy. She thought her dad told her to pick only one so she was just going to eat ice cream for lunch. I told her she had to have a lunch before her ice cream. I told her I would email you to clarify.

Thanks!

Honey's Teacher

This is a first, I thought, why would daddy forget to pack her lunch?

Too much on his mind? (adoption? money?)

He's considering a short term assignment to bring in some adoption funds..... I have to be able to handle EVERYTHING at home for 3 straight weeks..... it'll be helpful to have the funds, I know he's thinking I might not be able to handle it... does he forget that I single handily, I mean single parented 2 small children, my own home, inside and out and we were very organized! (and well fed, clothed and socialized!)?

Poor guy is over thinking it.

So I called dad, "hun - did you forget to pack Honey's lunch?"

"aaaa, noooooo"

I just got an email from her teacher, she doesn't have a lunch - she thinks she's having ice cream for lunch.

"aaaaa, nooooo"

Then he concluded with, "did she check her lunch box?"

You might need a little background information at this point;

Here at our house we don't 'have dessert every night' we don't have soda 'just because'. In fact at the last parade we went to there were pockets bulging due to the amounts of candy thrown at the kids - yet they didn't actually eat much of it. Don't get me wrong - they LOVE candy, cakes, sweets, soda, junk, bread, carbs, chips, sugar, sugar, sugar.... we have to help them make good decisions and one of these decisions includes buying lunch at school, or rather, not buying lunch at school. Honey buys on Fridays because Pizza is her absolute favorite food. It's the food that she can't stop eating - we've had to put limits on her quantity. (Even when she has bad pizza, she can't help herself).

On Fridays the first and second graders can buy ice cream. And from the beginning daddy has said, "Either pizza OR ice cream."

Last week Honey decided that she's going to go for the ice cream - we wondered how she was going to decide on which ice cream to pick, fudgcicle, ice cream sandwich, drumstick, you get the picture, all that yummy ice cream and she has to pick one.

After getting off the phone with daddy I emailed the teacher:

Ok, here’s the scoop.

Her lunch should be in her lunch box which is in her back pack. Can you please have her check. (and let me knowJ)

Also – she wants to buy an ice-cream after she eats. Can you ask the lunch aid to help her make her purchase, and get her change. (I envisioned her throwing out the change - I've seen this before in every grade I've taught)

Thanks.

Honey's Mama

And this is the email I received a few minutes later;

I just had her check and sure enough there is a sandwich!!! Sorry about that. I will absolutely do that.

Thanks!

Have a great Friday!

Honey's Teacher

I love how Honey thought she was going to have ice cream for lunch because daddy said, "Pizza OR Ice cream", as in you can buy one or the other, not both.

I especially love how she explained the whole story to me when I picked her up from school! It went something like this:"Mom, today I didn't know what to do so I thought about daddy in my head, I thought about what he would want me to do so when my teacher told me that I couldn't have ice cream for lunch today and I knew I had to pick something I thought Pizza or Peanut Butter & Jelly. I would really like Pizza but I thought about daddy and what he would want. He said that I couldn't have both ice cream and pizza so I picked peanut butter and jelly, and then my teacher told me to go check my lunch box and guess what" - she is cracking up at this point, can't see her eyes b/c she's laughing and smiling. "Guess what was in my lunch box! The sandwich daddy made me for lunch today. You were right when you told my teacher to tell me to look in my lunch box, my sandwich was right there."

"Good job thinking about what daddy and you have talked about and doing the right thing. I wonder which ice cream you picked because you have a hard time picking one thing when you like so many things, like ice cream...."

that was a whole nother story!

She did a good job thinking about what daddy would want her to pick after finally deciding in JUNE to buy ice cream on Friday - when she's been talking about this since October.

Black & Whites!

2011-06-02T21:07:00.005-04:00

I have to agree with Nancy - when you're looking at Black & White photos you see more of the photo, textures, depth, the real character(s).

These pictures show how fun our kiddos can be when there aren't any pressures.

Just hanging out on a New England Spring afternoon

- waiting for daddy to cook up some burgers.

2011-06-02T19:56:00.000-04:00

Never thought I would stress about height and weight... (Ok, I just might have lied - I do stress, I just don't want to stress) I am what I am.... I try not to eat junk.... I try to eat healthy but I work through lunch and get home and start digging for a snack while watching daddy finish up making supper. I had my physical back in February and well, it was just 6 weeks after the Fall/Christmas Holidays so I may have been letting my guard down a little bit and well, yes, I do admit I've packed on a few pounds. Not knowing at the time that I would be applying for an adoption, getting a home study done in record time and then doing a dossier at the same time I really didn't care (all that much) about my weight - it was a last minute appointment because it had been 3 years since my last appointment. The kind office was happy to oblige when I requested that they fill out a physical form for our home study just a few weeks later.... I was feeling good! THEN CAME THE DREADED NEWS.... EVERYTHING on our home study has to match EXACTLY on our dossier - no variations... and b/c I'm a rule follower I got a little nervous over the fact that I had to have another physical. I didn't have any blood work done for my February physical - so the dear ol doc wanted to run me through the lab...... 'lovely' I thought! Can you imagine my heart when I thought I would have to beg the doctor's office to please make my weight today the same as it was in February - and really I thought I would be begging them to knock a couple of pounds off.... I would whip out my precious child's photo and tell them how hard it is to fill out the said paperwork exactly and hope that they would have some compassion and drop the however-many pounds that needed to come off...... well, as 'luck' would have it - I don't weigh more then I did at my apt a few months ago .... I weigh less.... but never the less, I had to ask them to make my weight the same..... I HAD TO ADD WEIGHT! UCK - the nurse couldn't believe her ears... and willingly just added the poundage - I didn't even have to show her a picture of Mr. Precious!

Height Results: they asked me how tall I am... (Is this normal? they asked me instead of just measuring me?) I told them Five foot, three and a quarter inches.... (you know that the dossier peeps don't want ANY blanks left on their papers, or any white-out used! I remind you of this because the nice nurse wrote 5'3/4" ... not 5' 3 1/4". AHHHHHHHHHH!

China Calling.... anybody there?

2011-05-23T17:34:00.000-04:00

As we filled out our initial paperwork for our little guy waiting for us in China we were told that he's a Special Focus Child.

If you're adopting a Special Focus Child you qualify for a grand prize! You know what that is? You don't have to do any more paperwork in order to bring home an unrelated second child during that trip or a trip within the year. Isn't that a Special thing?

The Waiting Child SW at our agency let me know that in an email.... she probably knew she wasn't safe saying that on the phone.... safe, meaning I might faint of pure happiness at the prospect of bringing another little into our home without the mountains of paperwork that ask you how much you make and if you've ever been convicted of ..... blah blah blah.....

Today while the home study social worker was finishing up her intake she told us she was approving us for children of either gender up to age 14, (14 b/c that's the age children age out of the orphanage.... not really sure what that really means.... or don't really want to wrap my brain around that just yet - I'm concentrating on one thing at a time.)

She did smirk while she told me this.... I told her about the email we received. She and hubby exchanged glances - "You told her yes, didn't you....." was all I could say.

He didn't have to say anything.

I'm wondering what I'm going to think about after ALL our paperwork is done, and we're just waiting for the rest of everything to happen....

Amazingly Great News!

2011-05-23T17:22:00.000-04:00

(Can you tell I like the word "Amazing"? I like "Seriously" too) - ahem... sorry - I do that all the time!

Well, we are on this AMAZING journey to get our little guy home from China - and meanwhile some cookey people do some horrendous things and China changes some of their rules! We personally know 2 families that came home with their littles just 2 months ago....(well, that's an average number, one came home a month ago and the other came home 3 months ago) They did NOT have to have a Hague accredited home study agency....

what's that you say?
It's an agency that has all their ducks in a row.
They're really good at paperwork, making it, keeping it, filing it,
It doesn't make them a great agency - it makes them good at paperwork.
Our former Social Worker was excited about doing our home study for our little guy, you know, the one waiting for us in China, because she said it would be 1/2 the price and only requires 1 visit to the home, a little paper chasing, and updating but nothing like the first time....

Guess when China changed their rules?
Guess when they want our paperwork filed in China?
Guess who isn't Hague accredited yet?

Well, back to this AMAZING journey! Our SW is willing to get it done! She's forging ahead to get our paperwork in to make the cut off date!

Our agency set their cut off date for May 15th, to make the Oct 1 Log In Date, then changed it to May 31st. They really wanted it on Friday, May 20th. They are going to have it tomorrow! (And this is another example of the time change working for us, she has 2 extra hours to get our home study to Colorado! She is the most AMAZING social worker! THANKS KAREN!!!

2 years ago, 1 year ago, this year

2011-05-22T21:25:00.000-04:00

After the Spring Concert I wanted to take a picture of the kids with daddy b/c I knew I had a similar one from the year before. I knew the kids have grown, and am now looking a thirteen year old in the eye when I speak to him. It was fun digging up the first picture you see here - The first was post 6 weeks home, his first day going to school in America - the day before I returned to work since our adoption.... has it seriously been over 2 years....

I guess it's been long enough to get real comfortable and ask - "What's next?"

Enjoy the pics... I know I do!

We're on an amazing journey to bring our little guy home! You can help too!

2011-05-19T17:20:00.001-04:00

BLOG ALERT! We find ourselves in fund raising status. We've supported people in the past, bought the coffee, the tee-shirt, made the donation. I've always felt that was part of God providing for them, through us. Now we're pursuing our own adoption after thinking that our first was our only... not just the beginning. So I'm asking, humbly asking, to consider treating yourself to some yummy, fair trade, fundraising coffee. Please read the story that goes along with the company that provides a proceed from each bag purchased. They make fundraising seem no hassle. (I was going to say easy, but asking others to help is never easy for me.)

Here's a little coffee story for you;

About a long time ago.... in 2004, I went to the doctor for a regular physical and over all everything was OK. I did mention that sometimes I feel a little pressure, right about here..... (use your imagination) The nice lady doctor told me straight out - "lay of the daily 12 cups of coffee, your bladder is overloaded with caffeine." OK, she didn't say it like that but she indicated that the amount of coffee I was consuming out of boredom wasn't doing my bladder any good and the small feeling of pressure was indeed not necessary. I did lay off the coffee - 18 months coffee free! I didn't drink the decaf stuff. Didn't really miss it. If I had tea it was an herbal tea. It wasn't hard to give it up - really!

At the 18 month mark I went on an eyeglass mission trip to Nicaragua. We stayed in a lovely motel, air conditioning (sporadically) hot water (only at 5am) security (with the exception of the uneven doors that had openings from 1 - 3 inches where small lizards slipped through to visit in the darkness of the night) and the most wonderful host! A small elder(ish) man cooked and served us all of our meals. At breakfast each morning we'd find a small white espresso style cup at our place..... over in the corner innocently sat all the yummy fixings for a hot cup of Nicaraguan Coffee..... did you know that Nica coffee is... mmmmmm delish! YUP I do know that! I know that because I don't have any willpower. I saw the small cup, and yup - since it was small I knew I could handle 1 a day and then cut the habit again when I came back to the states..... yup - the person with no willpower is still drinking her coffee, morning, noon and night. I'm a coffee snob - no dunkin donuts for me please, give me the Paul Newman's Roast at McDonald! I even wrote, and performed on radio a love poem to my deep love; JAVA JOE!

Since Nicaragua in 06, I went to Ethiopia in '09 and Guatemala in '10. All great coffee places! So it's fitting to me that we start our fund raising with a Just Love! They're a coffee loving - Fair Trade supporting, orphan-caring kind of company!

2011-05-08T22:18:00.000-04:00

Time for an updated post on our blog, but I don't know what to write about. I could tell you that I hate (I know, strong word) talking in front of people - don't know how that happened b/c I used to be the 'life of the party', or so I thought!

I could tell you that I can't believe how independent Honey is, sticking her tongue out at me, and then yelling, "Daddy! Mommy stuck her tongue out at me!" (for real! Where does she get her stuff?)

Or that when I had to ask the congregation to 'Please consider helping out in our Sunday School program' Honey was in the back of the church sticking her tongue out at me! I know you don't believe me b/c she's the sweetest, kindest child you've ever met.... I know, I know, don't be jealous..... That girl knows just how to get me! She knew I had to make the announcement and was feeling a little anxiety about it. She even mentioned that I'm shy. That's when I questioned her -
"Why do you want to watch me talk to everyone....
and she just bubbled over with excitement and said,
"I don't know." in her sweetest, silliest voice.
I knew she was up to something... but couldn't figure it out..... until I was up there,
sweating embarrassingly,
in front of the whole congregation....
people were looking uncomfortable for me....
and

her

little

pink

tongue

slides out...

and back in again...

that little .......!

If you ask me, she doesn't look as if she's neglected or deprived, she doesn't look like she's screaming for extra attention....

she's just got me wrapped pretty tightly around her little finger.

And so does this one, reading in his quiet time, telling me all about what's happening in his book - a teacher/mother's dream to have her son reading! And excited to read!

speaking of wrapped around their fingers.... there's another one, tugging quietly at our hearts.... shhhh, don't tell.....

well it is Mother's Day after all!

HAPPY MOTHER's DAY!

My heart stops to reflect on those moms who've had to be apart from their children whether 'by law' or unexplained circumstances, by differences, or hardships. God bless your hearts as you face difficult days - while the world continues to spin and you try to cope, deal, get by. May you have some peace!

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T17:56:00.000-04:00

On the way out of the house, on our way to church this morning I grabbed the camera, took a look outside and noticed it was 'froggy' out. I have a sweet picture of us last year - and remember very clearly how many pics it took for us to 'get a good one' and then later I noticed that my hair is blowing in the breeze. So while I really didn't get a good, as in GREAT, picture, I did use it a few times during the year. One - to blog about our day, Two - as a family photo for our annual report and Three - to look at what we all wore so that we changed it up a bit..... I think I even used it as a FB profile pic for a while.
I decided that since our pics are 'ok', not bad, but definitely not what I'm seeing out there for great family pictures I was going to take a pic and not labor over it. While I was getting ready the hubby mentioned that we should get going. I told him I was just going to take one, as Honey said, "Can we get Titus in our picture like we did for our Christmas picture?" She called him over, told him to 'sit', I set the timer, and snap, FLASH, sizzle..... It was a keeper..... That's it, one picture. If I were a little pickier I would move us over so that the tv wasn't in the pic.... but you guessed it..... we had to get going!

Yesterday we dyed eggs and while it was fun, and sweet, I didn't think about grabbing the camera until we were all cleaned up. Then I found this blog and thought, this is exactly what I would have written if I did a post on how to dye eggs.... (cough, cough)

2011-04-16T21:00:00.001-04:00

FUN and Endearing!

We ate at a nearby Ethiopian Restaurant tonight with some friends.

All of the children seemed to have a good time.

Our whole family loves getting together with this family.

Our children connect us from their home country to our Church.

The Boys!

These two catch up each Sunday at church.
You should have heard Honey announce - with a loud squeal - that our friends had arrived.

Bezu Bezu

2011-04-10T21:31:00.001-04:00

Bezu Bezu - a worship song, once you hear it you want more, it's contagious! From what I understand, Bezu means Big. And since we're singing this in church and the men are clapping, and raising their hands upward and the women are serenading us with their voices - I believe it's a Big God sort of song. Their voices, deep, high, loud, are rejoicing! I don't know what they're saying but I'm singing along with them.

We've been attending Ethiopian Church after our church service for the past month - one would think that after a few hours in church it's time to go home and do "Sunday things". Well, "Sunday things" in our house means continue on with more church! It's one of those things where as you cross over that bridge you say to yourself, or who ever is listening, "we do it because it's the thing we do". Who knows, maybe someday soon we'll have to pick between Ethiopian Church and Chinese Church......

Enjoy some Bezu Bezu!

What does your routine look like?

2011-04-03T07:54:00.001-04:00

I'm not judging.... honestly
Here's my routine....
I'm at my own crossroads - trying to figure out my own next steps.
I really, really, really like the idea of a safe landing, hanging on tight and keeping it all together (wearing a helmet is appealing to me too).

I found the link on Baby Juddah's blog. Baby Juddah was a week old when one of God's servants found him lying on a bed in his own wetness with his twin sister Sarah in Korah, a former leprosy community for the poorest of poor in Ethiopia. Baby Juddah is one of those Jesus Ambassadors.... the weakest little baby gives us the opportunity to live life the way we're supposed to.....

Today I'm confused and wondering how am I supposed to serve, (I've been holding onto the balance beam tight, so tight that my arms hurt because I'm not really living) I don't think that's how we show our love for our neighbor or treat others like we want to be treated.... (I feel like Dory, Just keep hanging, just keep hanging) Then I start thinking about such things as the people who receive our Goodwill Donations? Why are they getting my cast-offs? Why do I get rid of perfectly good clothing and furniture? I know that I do it because I'm 'tired' of my old things, I need something new in my closet 'to make me feel good' and these old things are out of style.... I don't want them any more..... what makes me think someone else wants my old cast offs..... Oh here's my favorite reason - "I'm conservative.... I don't want to fill up the land fill with my junk - so I'm giving it away (for someone else to chuck) Helps the guilty feelings.

As I'm feeling a little stretched by God, I feel the need to retreat. Go back to the old 'play it safe' and 'keep it simple' feelings. I don't think that's what God intends when He challenges us to stretch, change up our routine a little..... I'm just confused as to WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO DO.....

Any suggestions?

and then there was some Sonshine!

2011-03-13T17:22:00.000-04:00

This was a hard weekend.

Started on Friday with some mail from Ethiopia.... some might think it's a good thing, and part of me knows this is true. Although we can't read the letters, they're in Amharic, there were 3 pictures accompanying the letters. Everyone looks healthy and happy. This is good (for us) to see. This was hard for the kiddos to see. I'm not going to analyze what I was thinking or why I feel the way I do, lets just leave it at it's very confusing to the children to have this communication.

They went to bed on Friday very sad.
One teenage boy and one 7 year old girl; sad = different responses.
She let it out, verbal, clearly, loudly with lots of tears......
He had many heavy sighs, and big tear drops coming down his cheeks, left the room and composed himself, then came back.
Often

With the letters, and it's contents looming in the air the weekend was quiet. What I do know about grieving is that it's never over. Although they might be able to tuck the feelings in the back of their mind, or deep in their hearts, it's never going to be gone, and we really don't expect, or want that. I want them to remember and honor the life they had in Ethiopia. I just don't want them to be sad. (too much to ask - I know).

In the past we talked about going to Ethiopia Church in the nearby city. In my mind it was attended by hundreds of beautiful Ethiopians dressed in Ethiopian formal wear, the music roared and the chanting shook the building.... well, some of my imagination was right on.... but there were some details that needed correcting. YES, the people are beautiful, nice, warm, welcoming. Their voices sing strongly, deeply, harmoniously moving. The preacher boomed out the message - but the crowd was thin.

At first I felt a tintsy bit awkward.... but then
the people were very warm to our children, and us too.
They asked questions, chatted about Ethiopia, the food the seasons the geography.

We did bible study - in Amharic (one nice fellow translated) and then Worship service and then ....
TEA with Ethiopian Bread. THIS WAS YUMMY!

Just yesterday Honey was telling me that everyday they had the same thing for breakfast, tea and bread. She ran up to me and said that THIS IS THE TEA! THIS IS THE BREAD I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT! It made her feel so good that she could show us what she was talking about, not just tell us and have us nod our heads....

Guess what we're having for breakfast tomorrow..... yup, the beautiful women gave me 2 pieces of bread for the kids breakfast tomorrow.

Gotta go back to Ethiopian Church next week... Jack was catching onto some of the Amharic... he was my translator for church....the language is coming back.

One big worry I had a while ago when the kids stopped speaking Amharic was that they won't be able to communicate with their family.... like I told my Sunday School kids today - it's a sin to worry, we whispered all our worries into our hands and through them out the door b/c God knows our worries and wants us to give them up.

AS we left church this afternoon, the sun peaked out of the clouds. There was an ever present sense of peace. The kiddos had a skip in their step and their talk of family, and Ethiopia was uplifting. They weren't sad or down. This is what they needed; Sonshine!

We were asked several times if we'd be back next week.... you bet!

2011-02-24T21:35:00.002-05:00

This is the week that we were going to do some day trips up North where Dad and Jack have their season pass for snowboarding. .... well this WAS the week, until Jack's school system cancelled the week off because we've had enough snow days to increase the school year by 2 weeks. We have standardized testing in March so it wasn't a 'good' time to take a week off after having countless weeks of snow days, holidays, teacher professional development days. It's been hard on all of us, students and teachers, and stay-at-home dads! INCONSISTENT! There were days when we were bumping into each other asking what day of the week it is.... and there were days when people didn't get out of pjs.... days of pjs.....

So poor Jack had to go to school this week (this same kid complained at all the snow days b/c he wanted to be in school! Now he's in school and, yup, you guessed it.... a little complaining.)

MY WEEK OFF WASN'T CANCELLED!!!
I usually leave before Jack, and get home after he does so I miss out on his transition to and from school. It was nice to be able to see him off and greet him upon coming home.
He does homework as soon as he gets home - such a good boy with good priorities...

You don't have to adjust your volume, he reads to himself while moving his lips.... all 2nd year readers do this.

Since we were planning on some skiing/snowboarding days, and Honey's week didn't get cancelled, dad did take Honey up North. She was so excited last night. She was afraid she wasn't going to wake up and daddy would leave without her.... NOT. A. CHANCE.

Here are a few videos and pics of their day.... and believe me we wouldn't have some of these if I had been there - Dads are a little more lenient than mommas are when it comes to independence!

All in all it was a good day.

She started telling us what we were having for supper and when Jack asked who made her boss, she didn't miss a beat - and I believe she believes this is true, "Dad did, all day he said to me 'where do you want to go now?'"

OH MY!

2011-02-22T08:34:00.002-05:00

Off to dinner at some friends last night! Everything was so DELISH! but the best part of the evening is the way both of our kiddos feel when in the company of these special friends. They are so relaxed, comfortable, easy-going. Their "kids" are all grown up - but very kind to Jack & Honey.

Some funny points to share about last night - the milk glasses were extra, extra tall! I thought Honey was going to faint when she saw how full the glass was..... this morning she confesses that she wanted more milk because their milk is better than our milk..... note to self; Ask what kind of milk was served...

Honey brought along her favorite game; Trouble (so fitting) Jack, Daddy and I all looked at each other and let out a groan simultaneously when we saw the beat up box in her hand on the way out the door. This is the first game she learned when she came home 2 years ago. I thought it would be a great game to teach numbers, colors, counting, good sportsmanship.... (the latter - never got that teachable moment b/c she beats us all - ALL THE TIME! - no mercy!) When she plays other people we warn them, 'don't be kind', 'use your strategy', 'she doesn't let people win', 'don't feel bad if you have to send one of her pegs home'.

Once Honey got it out of her system, Bob and Jack enjoyed a few rounds of Trouble - I don't recall hearing any "whoot - whoots" after these two played like when the little one plays....

And while we chatted after the delicious dinner the kids enjoyed the dogs...... boy is Nana patient with our kiddos!

THANK YOU FOR THE FUN NIGHT OUT!

2 years later.....

2011-02-20T19:41:00.000-05:00

and there are times when it feels like we've been in our groove forever..... and of course there are times when I say to myself 'they don't know because we haven't been doing this all that long'..... but really - it's more like 'we're in our groove.

WE....

have regular amounts of fresh air and exercise! (In which they exhibit No Fear!)

take our studies seriously.

have sandwiches after church almost weekly

and we do lessons weekly. She played at a student recital yesterday.

ONE YEAR AGO, I took Honey to the music studio on 'instrument exploration day' to check out the Suzuki instruments. Her teacher shared with me yesterday after her recital that she knew Honey was exposed to the movement of music. Not in a 'gifted' way but in a way that music is natural for her. Miss Amy played Mary Had a Little Lamb on the piano and Honey repeated it and asked for the name of the song. Miss Amy assumed that Honey grew up being sung that song. It wasn't unusual to her for a white women to bring in her brown daughter because Miss Amy met her husband in Africa on a musical mission trip (you see why I love this studio from the moment I stepped inside!) That's when I shared with her that Honey was adopted just a year before. She shared with me yesterday that she had to have her as a student. ISN'T THAT SWEET! SHE WANTED MY BABY TO BE HER STUDENT!

Most recently it's been real cold out - the kind of cold that we experienced when we arrived from Logan Airport two years ago. These days I think of our transition. The tears (shed by big and small people) The days without showers... it wasn't that bad...

The mornings of waking up at 3am for the day b/c their bodies were on Ethiopia time

The days of endless pots of Ethiopian Coffee!!!!

The 'battles' at the table.... trying to convince her to "try it, you'll like it."

The endless supply of bananas, oranges, and bananas and oranges....

The meals of french toast, day after day after day after day b/c that's what they liked, that's what they'd eat....

The silliness of them laughing at us when we'd try to speak their language - and they tricked us by not understanding us and then pronouncing it differently.... just b/c they could

The begging to let him go to school....

The pleading for us not to send her.....

yea, they're different, and we treat them that way - as much as we can...

Time is flying by, we're hanging onto for the ride, and can't imagine for a second how boring our life would be if we didn't say, "What would it be like if we adopted some children...."

2011-02-13T20:56:00.000-05:00

Today Honey and I went to have a play date! - since we did it a year ago, and we're doing it again, that makes it a tradition! It's a Valentine Cookie Making Play Date Tradition!

Honey and her little friend have a lot of fun times together - usually in church, before church, after church - playing and running around. We meet at the playground in the summer time and do little trips together. I LOVE my time with these little girls because I get to chat with another mom! Not just any mom, but a Jesus loving, smart, adoption! The conversation is always good and productive for me!

Today was a special time for all of us because as these little girls grow and, dare I say, mature, their mamas can see them settling into their forever families, and being comfortable with each other. Usually when we get together the girls do a lot of parallel play. Adoption kiddos have their own timelines of growth and development that shouldn't be compared to the child born into a healthy traditional family. These two children, a seven year old and a four year old have a special bond.... and making cookies sure does help!

It was funny how one little girl didn't want to eat her spinach tonight and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat, and sat until she finally said, "I think I'm tired."

To which I replied, "Ok, go brush your teeth" - up she did and off to bed.... I didn't tell her too, she must have been tired out from playing, and jumping, and mixing, and rolling, and decorating, and eating!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

I hope you get to enjoy some extra sweet lovins!

ps while Honey was having her play date, poor Jack was slaving over his science fair project - sorry no pics. He too was exhausted and was in bed by 7:40.

2011-02-02T19:58:00.000-05:00

2011-02-01T11:27:00.000-05:00

$50 application fee - check
Application filed on line - check
Personal Essay - check
3 official transcript requests - check
4 professional recommendation requests - check

gathered 1 official transcript and 2 recommendations....

WAITING for the others..

deadline - March 1

because

and if I needed one more reason

because I know that life is a dance

even though our mountains can seem big

and the job can seem never ending and impossible to finish

but when we work together

we can support one another, especially when we fall

and sometimes rely on each other to help

I know there's a lot to chew on.......

2011-01-30T18:39:00.001-05:00

While driving to church this morning,
Honey: I have two pocketbooks today.
Me: That's nice..... (feeling a little guilty for not engaging in a deeper discussion)

While walking through the parking lot I spied her little denim purse in hand... not even thinking for a minute that she mentioned there were two.

While singing our closing song, this is what I see

Honey sits with her friend 2 rows back after communion.... they're fun!
This is when I realize the '2nd pocketbook' is her binoculars in its case that she wears over her shoulder.... yea, like a pocketbook.

During supper:
Me: What were you looking at in your binoculars during church today?
Honey: That man
Me: WHAT MAN?!?
Honey: The pastor, that man.
Me: What were you looking for?
Honey: His mouth.
US: His mouth? Why?
Honey: I wanted to make sure it was moving and he was singing.

Dad: Was Pastor singing?
Honey: Yes
Dad: Is Pastor a good singer?
Honey: What do you think? He sings so loud, he has a huge mouth! It's so huge it goes across at the end.... (She hand motions where the sound would project out... and how far.....)

She continues: and you should see his eye!

She continues: ...... and the lady in front with the long hair.... wow, it's big..... you should see how long it goes over the chair.......

Me: OK, Honey, finish your supper.
Honey: But it's awful...
Me: enough with the honesty....

I gave daddy the day off in the kitchen... and this is my thanks.... her honesty.
The others went on and on about how good it was after she told me the truth... Hey, there are only so many ways to make chicken.....

what do your kids do on a snow day?

2011-01-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

just a little shoveling of snow....

daddy is getting mommy some 1/2 'n 1/2 for her coffee

mommy is making chicken soup for supper tonight, and granola bars for snack later (still in pj's)

kids are playing in the fresh air - time to make the hot chocolate.....again..... (whatever it takes)

small visitor

2011-01-18T10:16:00.000-05:00

While we were enjoying another snow day here in New England....

a small visitor popped in to pay us a small visit.

cute little critter, was a little frightened and

maybe overwhelmed at the temperature of our house....

I think he thought it would be warmer....

We turned off all the inside lights, opened the garage door, and

shooed him out....

Thanks for stopping by.... stay safe, stay warm!

2011-01-16T17:42:00.001-05:00

Someone had a special birthday today!

Gramma brought us out to eat!

Someone else even ate her veggies!

and Someone else (not me) caught the veggies that the expert chef flung at the crowd (no photo of that)!

I think I could cut an onion like that...

afraid to try this though,

the fire might not be as controlled.....

HAPPY SPECIAL BIRTHDAY! I couldn't imagine my life without you in it!

2011-01-12T10:38:00.000-05:00

Major storm....

weather man is already calling tomorrow a 'delayed opening' heee heee heee....

ok, enough of this immaturity.... time to get out and ~~play.~~... clean up!

I know we all know what snow looks like, and the kind of excitement it can cause, and some have hardships and hazards for some....... so I'll try to contain myself.

Here is some useless information, it's been 15 years since we've had this much snowfall in a single storm (20+inches)...... where were you 15 years ago? My hubby and I were up north on a ski week -obviously I wasn't teaching b/c now we have to pay holiday rates if we go for a week of skiing, and we were bummed that we were getting more snow at home than we got up north. My sister-in-law and her hubby were with us (from NJ) and back at their home they were dumped on even more than we were.... I clearly recall her frustration in this..... and I didn't blame her one bit!

Enjoy and stay warm... I need to get my year in review done for our agency report.... (Yea, I'm still talking about that....)